A Small Tribe

A New Space

2012-01-10T18:01:00.000-08:00

As I've been focusing more these days on my health and running, I've started a new blog to document that journey... Personal Velocity. I've had a bit of a hard time keeping the momentum going that I had last summer, so I am hoping that with that new space, I'll be more motivated and inspired to keep moving forward in my journey to better health.

I'm definitely not leaving A Small Tribe behind. I have a beautiful family who takes my breath away on a daily basis. I still want to have this record of our lives... and I have all of you, my incredible friends, that I want to continue sharing with. So I just wanted to let you know where I am part of the time... please feel free to visit and put your feet up (or in some running shoes if the feeling grabs you)... I always love visitors :)

Much Love to you as always,
Marina

Sweeten

2011-12-06T11:24:00.000-08:00

Trying on his coat and tails for the Nobel Prize ceremony

A few weeks ago my lovely husband, Ivan, got a phone call from the Nobel Laureate, Saul Perlmutter. Except when Ivan knew him 15 years ago, Dr. Perlmutter was not a Nobel Laureate, he was just Saul... a professor that Ivan worked with at the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory (aka, the Berkeley Labs). With his wicked Fortran programming skills :), as an undergraduate Ivan worked with Saul, writing software that would eventually be built upon to assist in discovering the speed in which our universe is expanding. Ivan worked on this project for many years, as a lone engineer amongst academics until the private sector called with more room for advancement and financial rewards.

A wonderful thing happened this past October. The project that Ivan worked on, The Supernovae Cosmology Project, won the Nobel Prize in Physics for Dr. Perlmutter... and thus the phone call to Ivan, with an invitation to attend the ceremony in Stockholm to recognize and thank him for his contribution.

This incredible, loving husband, father, brother, son and friend will be crossing the ocean today to be recognized for his work in discovering the expansiveness of the universe. We will miss him as he will be away from us for a week, but there are not enough words to describe our pride in him.

We love you, Ivan. You are amazing, you are cherished and we are proud to be yours.

Congratulations, My Love.

A Tale of Wildwood and Anansi...

2011-11-18T10:44:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time there were two little boys, Matteo and Nico. Oh, how they loved to pretend to be warriors, vikings and knights! Using sticks, they'd duel each other...swinging and poking, slashing and screaming, their poor mother was at her wits end! What power these little boys had! What energy! Then something magical and wondrous happened... she met Master Alejandro.

Master Alejandro is part wizard and part craftsman. Quite learned about the ways of knights and warriors, he created special swords for the two boys. The little boy Nico, chose the sword which carried the image of a spider, bearing the gift of cleverness and cunning to the one who holds it. He christianed his sword, Anansi. The other sword held an image of a tree, bestowing the one who wields it a mastery of the Forest and Trees. The older brother Matteo, chose the name Wildwood.

The boys were in awe of such wondrous blades! Made of leather, the swords had the ability to strike down evil while still protecting the boys from harm. The boys mother taught them the responsibility of having such swords...

Respect Anansi and Wildwood and the power that they hold
Never let the blades fly in anger
Use them to protect that which you love and honor
and lastly...

Do not use them on your brothers!

The boys were so very happy, swinging and jousting these beautiful swords. They wanted to know more about Master Alejandro. Their mother told them of how Master Alejandro was from a land of many lakes and that he had travelled to a far, far country to learn the art of making leather swords, shields and masks. She told them of the care and love that went into creating these magical swords... and of the great responsiblity that came with bearing such great power.

The boys gave heed to their mothers petition for care with their new blades. They roamed the countryside, looking for dragons, monsters and furies... protecting the world around them and those that they loved... as all wonderful little boys do.

Sending much gratitude and love to Alejandro Ortega, aka "Master Alejandro"! An artisan skilled in creating the punchinello masks from the Italian art form of Commedia d’el Arte, he has taken this talent of working with leather and applied it to the making of swords, daggers, shields and even the occasional adorable elephant :). These beautiful, heirloom quality items can be found in his Etsy shop, Made By Alejandro

{this moment} brothers and joy

2011-09-16T08:21:00.000-07:00

{this moment} A single, special,extraordinary moment. A moment in time that I want to pause, savor and remember.

{Inspired by SouleMama}

Goodbye Summer

2011-09-14T00:05:00.000-07:00

We had fun helping Lolo in his garden

Riding our bikes in new places

while stopping every once in awhile to look at bugs

We loved going on carnival rides for the first time!

and eating watermelon

Picking apples at Nonnieys...

...To make into apple pie together

The cows at the Little Farm always looked happy to see us

but sometimes it was nice to just spend lazy afternoons on the couch with the newest member of our family, Hanuman

But our FAVORITE part of summer was having daddy home with us to eat ice cream together!

Happy Early Birthday, Daddy! We love you!

(No more travelling 10,000 miles for work, OK?)

Love, Matteo, Nico and Luca Bean

The Journey

2011-07-07T09:57:00.000-07:00

A funny thing happened a few months ago while I was standing in line to pick up the boys race packets for a kids fun run. I decided to run as well, but not the kids fun run... the half marathon. Which would be the next day. Which I hadn't trained for. At All. There was something about the energy at the race expo that seemed to slap me out the funk I had fallen into. I wanted to be one of the warriors who would hit the road for 13.1 miles. I had just gotten on the scale a few days prior and saw that I had reached my highest weight ever, even when pregnant... 200lbs*.

I decided that I may be a fat chick, but I am a fat chick that would run a half marathon.

I won't bore you with too many race details. I will say that I finished, though I was basically in tears and stumbling at mile 11, so very sick of EVERY song on my iPod. The amazing, cheering spectators gave me boosts of energy when I thought I couldn't go on. I crossed the finish line in a blazing 3 hours 14 minutes (speedwalkers were passing me at that point) but I felt like I had opened a door that had long been shut.

So that's where I've been the past few months... running.

My day now starts at 5:30AM. While the rest of the house sleeps, I sneak downstairs, put on my running clothes, quietly slip on my shoes and head out the door. For at least an hour, the early morning world is mine. The streets are mostly empty, I get to listen to MY music (which occasionally has a few swear words) and I am moving and thinking and sorting out things in my head. It is absolute bliss. And when I get home, sweaty and feeling like my cup has been filled... I see my lovely sleepy boys on the couch waiting for me.... and I am ready to pour my cup into theirs for the rest of the day.

It was just 6 years ago that I left my job, became a wife and a stay at home mother. They've been amazing and wonderful years, but I know that I got lost somewhere along the way when it came to caring for and nurturing myself. 6 pregnancies and 3 beautiful boys in 6 years had taken a toll. I wasn't just overweight, I was technically obese. I was suffering from my old nemesis, depression. Food was my go-to for comfort and relief from stress. A visit to an incredible psychiatrist and the tools of antidepressants helped me conquer the demons that I was struggling with. Weight Watchers showed me the way to healthier eating... and my runs, my blessed morning runs gave me back to myself.

I ran another half marathon a month ago, almost an hour faster than the one that started this journey. I've lost 35 lbs, with more to go. But most importantly, I am finally very, very happy in my own skin.

I have to be honest and say that I don't know where that leaves blogging in my life. I love the friends I have made (meaning YOU if you've read this far), though I feel awful that I haven't been able to peruse blogs as I used to. I started this blog to document my journey as a mother and my familys adventures. I'd like to keep doing that, though it will probably be with less frequency. I roll my eyes as I write this, as I realize that my header is still a chunk of ice from March ;}.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. I've loved sharing it with you and I hope that we'll continue on it together.

Much Love and Gratitude,
Marina

* how's that for facing your demons... actually sharing a NUMBER??!! Just goes to show how much I love you guys :)

... Now :)

Spring Rain

2011-03-14T18:40:00.000-07:00

The storm came up so very quick
It couldn't have been quicker.
I should have brought my hat along,
I should have brought my slicker.

My hair is wet, my feet are wet,
I couldn't be much wetter.
I fell into a river once
But this is even better.

-Spring Rain by Marchette Chute

It was raining today and oh, how I loved it so! The air felt so fresh to breathe in and all around us it felt like the earth had been given a gentle cleansing. On our street a small lake forms near our home and the boys enjoy a bit of puddle jumping

Neighbors smiled as they walked past these crazy little boys who were finding so much joy in the water

Luca Bean had fun with his brother's discarded boot

Nico took a moment to reflect ;}

These moments, so fleeting... of my boys being just little boys... finding such happiness in something so simple as a big puddle. I don't think my heart could feel any fuller.

Wishing you many moments of such joy!

Crafty Times

2011-03-07T21:01:00.000-08:00

If Helena Bonham Carter had a crafting doppelganger, that person would be my friend Najma. You may remember Najma, of fabulous monokini fame... this woman never fails to blow me away with her creativity! Last week my crafty pals had another get together and Najma didn't disappoint with her incredible ability to think outside the box when it comes handwork. Najma's new project is to knit a vest using strips of denim... really. It was quite a sight to see her ripping strips of an old pair of jeans. Denim was flying everywhere and it was like Edward Scissorhands meets Martha Stewart! It was truly awe-inspiring!

Jenny was crocheting flowers for her square in a community quilt using an impossibly tiny crochet hook. That woman has some serious skills.

Our lovely hostess Andrea, was working on fingerless gloves

I tried needlepoint for the first time with Alicia Paulson's Pleasant Kitchen Dishtowel pattern

Our crafting get-togethers are never complete without some yummy pastry action, and this time was no different with a tart to celebrate the gorgeous Courtney's birthday :)

As Andrea is also the mother to boys, I always love visiting her home to see what wonderful boy-ness is going on. I was absolutely charmed this time to walk in and see a tee-pee set up in the living room.

Sam Cooke and Mos Def provided the soundtrack to our morning (courtesy of Jenny's husband's cool site Mog!)... I truly felt so lucky to have such a wonderful group of women to spend time with.

Thank you to all my crafty friends, near and far, for your energy and inspiration!

Simple Play

2011-02-22T09:12:00.000-08:00

Maybe it's because we're just getting off of a long period of rainy days spent indoors, but I've been feeling overwhelmed by all the toys, art stuff and general kid clutter that has been taking over our house. I came to the realization that we really do have too much stuff! From the simple things like constantly having to step over toys that always seem to find their way to the floor to never being able to find one of three (!!) pairs of kid scissors because they are buried under piles of papers and crayons... I just really felt like our enough was too much, so I've started the process of letting go.

The hardest things to let go of have been the toys. The beautiful, Waldorf wooden toys. When the toy safety issues and recalls made headlines years ago, I became much more mindful of the kinds of toys I wanted my boys to play with. It was at that time that I learned about Waldorf education and wanted to surround my children with these breathtakingly beautiful pieces of art that were Waldorf toys. I wanted the toys that they touch to be natural and warm. But sometimes too much of a good thing, can still be too much. I've come to realize that having these playthings, as nice as they are, do not make a Waldorf family. It's about my sons and letting them be who they are. It's about Ivan and I supporting them, stepping back probably more than we're used to... and it's about giving them an environment where their imaginations can run free.

My dear friend Christine Schreier is an artisan who makes beautiful Waldorf dolls. She once told me a story about being at a Waldorf School Faire and having a mother approach her at her booth. It appeared that the woman was having a difficult time choosing a doll for her daughter. After asking her questions about the child's favorite colors and preferences, Christine learned that the child already had 10 dolls! So proving herself to be the worst salesperson ever (but probably wisest adviser), Christine gently explained to the woman that to her daughter, those 10 dolls were 10 children for her to care for, FAR too many for anyone to handle! The woman was visibly relieved to not have the burden to choose one... but came back later to buy one for herself! I think too often as parents, we buy for our children what we want for ourselves. I know that I have been very guilty of that and that while my sons have enjoyed the pretty toys to some extent, having so many of them have made them each less special.

Luca and his baby

So I've spent the past week gathering up the toys that I thought all good Waldorf families have... wooden blocks of all kinds, doll furniture, European games and I've sold them. It was hard at first, I kept thinking "what if the boys miss them!" or ridiculously "are they going to miss out on learning something if we don't have it?!"... it should come as no surprise that neither of those things has happened. Instead, our savings account is much healthier from the recent infusion of cash and more importantly, it feels like we can finally breathe in our space. The boys have rediscovered toys that have been invisible through the abundance of too much. Admittedly, there are toys that I love too much to let go of, but at least I recognize that they are for me. Getting rid of the toys has been healthy. I'm learning to become less attached to these things. For a long time, they had represented a lifestyle that I had wanted for my family, but I realize now that they were getting in the way of it.

In the book, Simplicity Parenting, author Kim John Payne writes :

By simplifying, you've taken steps to curb the excess that threatens childhood's natural rhythms and growth, By starting at home- embracing experience over things, and "enough" rather than always more- you've made room. You've cleared out space, literally and emotionally. You've made a container for relationship and the slow unfolding of childhood. you've allowed room for your child's own imagination and play.

I found this to be so true in our experience. It was a long and hard process to go through it all, sort it out and rearrange, but we felt rewarded in the evening when the boys (who had spent the entire weekend bickering and fighting) playing happily and cooperatively in their playstands.

"Pretend you're the pirate on the top bunk, I'll be the one on the bottom"
"Pretend this is our home, I'll be the daddy, Luca can be the baby"
...with many giggles ensuing

It was all joyful music to our ears and it felt like we made the steps closer to what we want for our happy home.

An Adventure at Ano Nuevo

2011-02-06T23:27:00.001-08:00

Last week, Matteo, Nico and I took advantage of the gorgeous weather here in California to go visit the elephant seals at Ano Nuevo State Park. From December to March, the Northern elephant seals come to the park for breeding season. It's really an amazing experience to be able to see the seals in their habitat.

We were able to witness a few bull seals fighting for dominance and access to breed with the female seals.

We did see some seals mating. I have to say that I was a bit relieved that the boys were not at all curious for an explanation of what was happening (at least this year).

By late December, many of the females have given birth to the pups that had been conceived the previous year. It was very sweet to see them nursing their young.

At some points during the almost 4 mile guided hike, I think the boys were just happy to sit and play in the sand

On the way back to the nature center, there was an outpost where we could learn more about the elephant seals

and their population

It was an incredibly fun and educational trip for all of us. Now that the boys are older, they seem to get so much out of learning about the world through being able to see and experience it. I really do feel so fortunate to be in a place where these experiences are readily available.

Wishing you all many glorious adventures!

Holiday Wrapping {Up}

2010-12-31T21:26:00.000-08:00

ahhh... the end of a very big year of change.

I look back on the year and I just feel like there was so much movement. It was so very nice to have the holidays to ground us with tradition and also time with each other as a family.

St Nicholas Day

We had our first Christmas at home with just the boys and Ivan and I and it was nice to start making our own traditions.

The boys wearing their Christmas PJ's

There were joyful times with visits from extended family and day trips to celebrate with my parents.

Nico and his beloved Lola

I realized during this time how rich I am with so many amazing people in my life that bless me with their friendships. During the break from our normal routine, it was wonderful to share in the holiday spirit with them

Making cookies at my friend Jenny's beautiful, warm home

...with her adorable son close-by to assist :)

A wonderful morning of playdate mayhem at our house with almost a dozen kids running around, but SO worth it to have these yummy little ones to sit on my lap and their mamas to visit with!
Thank you Nicola, Liz and Robin!

Santa and the Birthday Fairy were quite generous this year and I received a pretty red ring... a Canon L series lens

Which I was able to take into San Francisco (all by myself!) for the day to practice new techniques I've been working on

panning the camera to keep an object in motion in focus

shooting in manual mode to learn how to create the silky waterfall effect

and time to play in Union Square

It was a lovely holiday season and a wonderful way to wrap up a busy year.
I'm wishing you, my friends, a magical year full of love and joy!

Merriment and Warmth

2010-12-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

After a long hiatus, my beloved Inspiration Circle got together this past week for a few hours of crafting and fun. It was really wonderful to spend some time at my friend Andrea's gorgeous home which is full of creativity and handmade love. I thought I'd share a few images of the works of my talented friends and the lovely setting we gathered in...

Emanuela brought her charming knitted Christmas elves!

Najma showed off the gorgeous knits that she will be selling at a local crafts faire

Andrea works on the socks her son requested for Christmas (isn't that sweet?!)

and I worked on a few tiny Waldorf dollheads to be made into finger puppets :)

There is always so much inspiration to be found in Andrea's beautiful home. She made this fantastic Advent Calendar by hanging envelopes simply stamped...

...filled with holiday daily activities

I love the gorgeous knit tulips that she makes as gifts!

As our home doesn't have a fireplace or mantel, I really do take pleasure in hers so happily decorated for the holidays

As always, it was such a joy to take time out of our busy days to simply sit and bask in the warmth of friendship. Listening to Emanuela share a tomato sauce recipe in her lyrical Italian voice, watching knitting needles busily flying... it's nourishment to my soul.

Thank you my dear, crafty mama friends near and far for sharing your talents and inspiration. I hope that all of you are having a wonderful holiday season full of love and light!

The Bean is 2 !

2010-11-22T21:14:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday, my little rock star!

{this moment}

2010-11-19T22:37:00.000-08:00

After playing at the park on an unseasonably warm afternoon, they lay their heads down

... and so they rest...

Happy Birthday Nico!

2010-11-09T21:02:00.000-08:00

You have your own very special way of looking at the world, my crazy, wonderfully exuberant little boy! I so am blessed that you share that view with me!
Thank you for filling my heart with so much joy and love. Your smile brightens my world and your laughter is the music that fills my soul.

Happy 4th Birthday, my beloved Nico Lico Lay Lo!

The Autumn Corner

2010-11-02T11:59:00.000-07:00

I love Autumn, it's the season that just makes me so very happy. While many people view Spring as a time of renewal and growth, for me, Fall is the time of year that I feel moved to make changes in our environment, especially our home. Perhaps it's the feeling that we'll be spending much more of our time indoors in the upcoming months that moves me to bring fresh energy into our rooms. I envision our home to be warm and nourishing. I want it to be our haven of comfort in the cold of winter and the bustle of the holidays. So I've been spending some time the past few weeks moving things around, putting things aside and finding new homes for items whose time of usefulness has passed for us.

Our dining room is the heart of our home. As well as being the place where our family shares our meals, it is also the place where the boys play the most. It holds the cabinet for art supplies, shelves for toys and my favorite part of the room, the Autumn Corner. As Ivan still steadfastly refuses to let me lazure the walls my favorite Waldorf Kindergarten colors (harumph!), I've dyed playsilks to use as backdrops.

I actually made this bookshelf myself and I love that it now holds my boys playthings :)

There is a story shelf with a few of our favorite wooden figures that the boys use to imagine tales of knights and wizards.

The shelf below holds the household items, a machine and a basket of small playsilks to "sew" with and the knitted food for the play kitchen.

On the opposite wall is the boys kitchen with our favorite pressed leaves hanging as a garland

Another area of the dining room holds a small bookshelf to place toy baskets and a few art supplies

The boys have enjoyed the new energy in the room. Matteo loves to sit and draw, Nico makes his imaginary skyscrapers with his blocks and Luca is always busy in the little kitchen. I really love that the room is the gathering place for our small tribe :).

Happy Autumn to All!

Growing

2010-11-01T06:30:00.000-07:00

I've been absent from this space this month. There hasn't been much time for sewing, crafting, photography and um, *ahem* blogging- all the things that feed my soul. I knew that life would change when Matteo started Kindergarten, but I didn't realize to what a great extent it would. These past few months I've been immersing myself in this new world that not just Matteo, but our entire family, had entered. A new school, a new community... it has been hard. It's no small irony that while Matteo waved good-bye to me happily as I dropped him off in his Kindergarten classroom, it was ME who burst into tears at the parent coffee and bagel reception afterward (I owe special thanks to the sweet PTA volunteer who I think was specifically designated at the front door to give hugs to new Kindergarten parents like myself). These past few months have been quite a journey for me as I've moved past my comfort zone to get involved in the big, exciting school that will be the place where my boys will spend most of their days in the years to come.

Helping the kids with the Dia de Los Muertos (Day of The Dead) craft

I've started volunteering in Matteo's classroom and it's made a world of difference in making me feel at peace in our decision to send our children to public school. The first afternoon I walked in to help out, the lights were dimmed, sitar music was playing and Matteo's teacher had a room full of 5 year-old children in yoga warrior poses repeating the affirmation "I am strong, I am smart, I am at peace" :). I've gotten to know all of Matteo's classmates and many their parents and it's been exciting to meet people from so many different cultures and backgrounds. I feel like our world is expanding ever so much.

In the school garden on Pumpkin Patch Day

But most importantly, Matteo LOVES school. He's excited about what he's learning, he loves playing with letters and learning how to create words, he loves seeing numbers and knowing what they represent. My boy is growing and I am so proud.

I realized that I am growing as well. It was really hard for me to let go of my ideal of sending the boys to a Waldorf school. I realized that I can love many of the principles of Waldorf education and do them at home but still be happy with my son at a public school. I've been spending a lot of time at his school, in the classroom, participating in fundraisers, going to school events and I've realized that this big new school doesn't need to be scary. After seeing Matteo embrace his new surroundings with such joy and excitement, I knew I wanted to support and be a part of this amazing environment.

So, many of my own personal pursuits have been put on the back burner as we've been settling into this new time in our lives. I had been beating myself up over not being able to craft or run or do anything remotely creative, but I realize that the time I've been putting into Matteo's school has been about putting time into my own growth as a mother and person. I've been missing this space and the creative part of me that it represents. I'm so very happy that I feel as if I'm in a place that I can finally exhale all the anxieties I've had these past months and return to those things and this wonderful community that give me joy.

dyeing playsilks for Autumn

With so much gratitude for your companionship on this journey of parenthood...

all my love,
Marina

Michaelmas

2010-09-29T19:52:00.000-07:00

The autumn winds blow open the gate,

St. Michael for you we wait.

We follow you, show us the way,

With joy we greet this autumn day.

Good morning, good morning, good morning.

The silver rain, the shining sun,

the fields where scarlet poppies run,

the fallen leaves blow up and away,

with joy we greet this autumn day.

Good morning, good morning, good morning

-from Our Little Nature Nest

We had our first simple and joyful Michaelmas celebration at our home yesterday. I've struggled with how to celebrate this Fall festival as I don't feel as if the boys are entirely ready for the stories of slaying dragons and saints. So we altered the story of St Michael slaying the dragon to instead, Michael the Knight overcoming his fear of the dragon, making him his friend and asking the dragon to help others instead of scaring them. (A very Berkeley twist indeed). We also focused on the arrival of Autumn and the changing of the season.

We started with a nature walk to collect the Fall leaves for Autumn crowns

Michael the Knight making the dragon his friend

and we made dragon bread for the first time... admittedly a very puffy dragon ;}

This was the first introduction to Michaelmas for the boys and as the years progress and as they are ready, we will let the story evolve into its truer meaning. For now though, as the winter months approach, I wish you all joy and peace as we strengthen our inner reserves and learn to overcome obstacles, whatever they may be, in the spirit of Michaelmas.

With love and light,
Marina

A New Rhythm

2010-09-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

Oh my. When did life just get so complicated?! With Ivan's new (longer) work schedule and the start of the school year, our days have just become so crazed. Now, please don't get me wrong. I've come to love Matteo's school and his lovely, caring Kindergarten teacher. Nico's preschool and the wonderful community of families there have been a warm stop in the madness of drop-offs and pick-ups (and I am SO talking to you Liz, Sam, Naomi and Polly!)... but it's those things like keeping several schedules, making spreadsheets to plan meals and the endless lists that are driving me absolutely INSANE! What is mind boggling to me is that we don't do extracurriculars like sports or music lessons.... this is all just getting everyone fed, dressed, bathed and delivered to their appropriate locations on time! I've been finding myself running like a madwoman from the time I wake up to the time I collapse into bed at night. This is not the life I envisioned for myself or our family.

So I am taking a deep breath. Trying to slow down... and simplify

I am rereading my favorite parenting book Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne. I am absolutely evangelistic about this book! It's been a lifesaver and it makes me feel so at peace with its simple suggestions on how to take out the distractions that make for a chaotic homelife. I'm starting right now with trying to find a new rhythm for lives. Though the boys have their schools in the mornings and there is little I can do to change those schedules, I can create an environment in our home that is relaxed, warm and simple. A place that nourishes ALL of our souls. I was very inspired by how my friend Nicole organized her week and I decided to take it to the basics by having just a single thing for the day to focus on. One activity to structure our afternoon around.

On baking day last week, the boys enjoyed peeling and coring apples to make apple pie

On gardening day, Nico sang to our freshly planted broccoli :)

and of course there is always time for a little mudplay

or time for the big Kindergarten boy to play with his beloved trains

For me, I've stopped running errands after school. I've just turned off the computer in the afternoons so I can focus on being fully present with the boys. I just be with them.... and it's nice. I'm also learning to find small moments in the day, where amidst the bustle of movement, I can stop and fully experience where I am... when I am reading to the boys at drop off and I can smell their little boy hair as they sit on my lap... or the commiserating smile or hug from a fellow mom in the trenches... it's these moments of grace that take me off of the everspinning hamster wheel... and I am so grateful for them.

As we settle into this new rhythm, I know that we will all feel calmer and more nourished. I would love to hear more from you on how you develop rhythm in your homes, especially with kids in school. (as an aside- can I tell you, my homeschooling friends, I've more than just a *few* times considered homeschooling for the simple reason that I want to be able to NOT rush around... but that's another post for another time ;} )

Sending you much love and light!
Marina

A Postcard from Crystal Cove Beach

2010-08-31T22:43:00.000-07:00

ahhh... summer vacation... a few stolen days on a beach named Crystal Cove

There's time to explore the tide pools

hang 10 on a driftwood seesaw

or stare at the sunset

Our cottage on the beach, called the Dive Shack

What a fun place to stay!

the view that Luca and I shared while napping on the couch

a dive helmet kept watch overhead

a sleeping loft for our little boys to play pirate

buoys hung from stairs

and some clever boys who had stayed there before us left a very fun scavenger hunt in the guest journal

I spent the quiet, early morning hours on the deck overlooking the ocean with my comfort quilt and a very treasured book

While we were there, our big boy Matteo turned 5!

Happy Birthday, My Love!

It was such a lovely, magical way to spend these last days of summer...

Wishing you warmth, light and love
Marina

Adventure Playground

2010-08-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure was going to happen.

-Winnie the Pooh

There's a park on the waterfront appropriately named Adventure Playground. It's a place where kids can pound nails, build forts and let their imaginations run wild. This playground is a challenge for my inner helicopter parent. In my less generous moments, I call it "Tetanus Park". Really, let the boys play with tools and nails?! Climb structures only God knows will stand?! But it is an adventure ... and a glorious adventure at that!

Posing with Fab Four painted on the side of a boat

An old piano sits outside for play

So many things to climb...

... and play

Projects to build

Walls to paint

Little hands learning (with mama close by!)

Letting the Wild Things out!

It's a happy place for my busy boys

“We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.”

-Jawaharlal Nehru

Abundance and Simple Joys

2010-08-15T20:48:00.000-07:00

As I move forward in time and emotion... away from the place I was in, I've taken to looking for the abundance in life and the bounty that is found in the simple things that bring me joy...

Tomatoes from my fathers garden

During a recent visit to my favorite thrift store, I found a few Pyrex bowls in the happy Friendship pattern that I just adore (really, this just made me squeal!)

At the thrift store, I also discovered my favorite books from childhood for less than $2 for the entire set! I'm looking forward to sharing them with my own little farmer boys :).

Ivan had some time off before he started his new job and it was just so incredibly wonderful beyond words to have him home and relaxed. We stayed close to home and did a few day trips around the Bay Area, but mostly a lot of time was spent horsing around with the boys

One day with the kids in good hands, we went for a long hike in beautiful Marin with our matching gorilla feet that make me giggle

... and of course, I can't forget the abundance that are you... my friends. Thank you for all of your kind comments and emails during the rocky time that we went through. I wept as you shared your experiences and I felt loved and cared for by your thoughts. I am truly rich in friends and love. I heard this song recently and it made me think how blessed I am for your friendships

Had a friend once upon a time who had a hunger to learn
Good and bad was all she had and all she was concerned
She found out they were one and the same
The truth don't need to have a name

She loved to share with the moon soon she shared with me
The adventure this life could be
If we just let ourselves be free

She gave me peace of mind
Like a butterfly song to a rainbow shrine
And today feels good, soul sister

We never answered too much we asked all the time
Why it was always looking and what there was to find
We threw it all into the wind laughter sharing
Me and my best friend

Her voice was fine and it eased my soul
Her face was young but her eyes were old
And magic would unfold

She gave me peace of mind
Like a butterfly song to a rainbow shrine
And today feels good, soul sister

We worship the goddess of the Earth
Daughter of life, mother of birth
We belong where the mystic is strong
Humming a butterfly song

And today feels good, soul sister

-"Soul Sister", Cree Summer

This is me, so very happy

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, my soul sisters

A Time For Healing

2010-08-02T00:51:00.001-07:00

A new month always brings about fresh energy for me.... and August is no exception, for it's signaling a new time of hope.

Last month I had another surprise pregnancy and a not so surprising miscarriage. It's hard to know what to say about it all. I was blessed to see the smallest of heartbeats and then a day later, it passed. I felt knocked to the ground and I didn't know how to get up. It just didn't seem fair after all the drama with the ectopic pregnancy last year... I know that there's a reason for all of this, I just don't know what it is.

I've been spending my days running. I disappear for hours on the trails, by the water, on the streets trying to process it all, but the hurt, sadness and confusion that I am running from are never completely gone. Before the pregnancy, I honestly thought I could say that I was done having children, but then that heartbeat changed it all. At dinner one night, my lovely 3 year old Nico pointed to the 6th chair at the table and asked whose seat that was and I didn't know what to say.

I'm feeling ready to move on now. I have my three beautiful boys and a loving husband who fill me with such joy, I feel shameful for wallowing in sadness. Things have fallen off kilter in our home and I want to get back on the journey that I had envisioned for our family. My wonderful husband has had his challenges with his work and gratefully in a week, he'll be starting a new job.

So this week, this new month is a time of renewal. With Ivan home, we are setting the groundwork to get back where we want to be- as fully mindful parents. My family is so precious to me, I can't keep dwelling on the half empty glass... for it's not even half empty... it's filled with love.

Thanks for allowing me to share this with you. You are all such lovely, dear, treasured friends who assist and support me through so much of this journey of motherhood and I've truly missed you.

All my love,
Marina

Dancing With Nature

2010-06-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

“The press of my foot to the earth springs a hundred affections.”

-Walt Whitman

There's been a lot of joy around here these days. With the arrival of Summer, we've all been feeling a little freer and happier. One of my favorite things about the warm weather is watching the boys slip off their shoes outdoors and run around freely and joyfully. Recently I've decided to join them in their fun and have joined "The Barefoot Movement".

It all began when a friend had recommended the book Born To Run. I was inspired by story of the reclusive, gentle tribe of Tarahumara Indians of Mexico who had mastered the lost art of running for survival and more importantly, for joy and the runners who came from all over to learn from them. The book was an inspiration on so many levels. It was an epiphany to read about how the expensive, highly padded shoes that we run in today can actually cause damage to our bodies, rather than letting our feet develop as they were meant to support our body movement. I loved the idea of bringing running back to the most basic elements, my feet and the ground beneath them.

I have been learning that the journey of going barefoot must be taken slowly. My feet are relearning how to move. My pace is often slow and meditative as I practice walking with the balls of my feet hitting the ground first rather than the heel. With this gait, my body adjusts itself naturally where my torso and back straighten up and I can feel myself breathe more deeply. I feel graceful and I feel at peace.

Hiking through trails has become a dance with nature as I learn to step lightly, skipping around tree roots and stones. I feel as if I'm becoming one with the Earth as all my senses become focused upon each step. As my feet strengthen and I'm able to run among the trees, I start feeling the joy that had been lost encumbered by shoes. It's as if I am a pebble skipping across a lake, lightly dancing across the surface. The other day as I finished a long run/hike through the woods, I found myself laughing with pure and utter joy as I sprinted through the last quarter mile... it had just been that much fun.

It's funny that now I find it difficult to wear conventional shoes, they just feel too constricting and I tend to clod around like Frankenstein's monster, not knowing how to move with my feet bound! So I bought some shoes that are meant to simulate the feel of being barefoot. Not exactly the most attractive of shoes, but I do love them so for just the absolute fun in wearing them!

Vibram Five Finger Sprints

But after all that is said and done, nothing beats going barefoot. I've often wondered if perhaps by touching the ground, some of the thousand of nerve endings in my foot are releasing endorphins to my brain. Not being a scientist, I don't know the answer, but I just know the bliss I feel by feeling connected to the Earth...

Happy Barefoot Summer to All!

As Always With Love and Light,
Marina

Seriously Scandalous Knitting!

2010-06-04T21:55:00.000-07:00

My gang of friends known as the Inspiration Circle, gathered for our last get together before the kids summer vacations started. I hope you don't mind, but I am going to have to RAVE about my friend Najma's creation! Please allow me to introduce...

The Monokini
A bikini joined together with a single sexy strap in the center!

Oh my! I mean we all are MOTHERS for crying out loud ; }! I consider myself a burka on the beach kind of gal. Not only is a bikini waaayyy out of my reality, but the idea of knitting one...oh my, entirely out of my skillset. But I know I wasn't alone as we all were in awe of the boldness of Najma's design and talent... soooo absolutely, fantastically shocking! What's even better, is that this was a project that the ever so talented Najma decided to do on a whim... creating a pattern of her own (hopefully available on Ravelry soon)!

She used part of the pattern for a bikini top

and ruffles from a scarf pattern (check out the shimmery gold cotton!)

Here is my beautiful friend modelling her creation
Saucy isn't she?

I just LOVED it! It totally broke me out of the mindset that knitting had to be just nice, sedate sweaters, baby blankets and scarfs. I have to know, are all of you naughty closet knitters as well??? Please share what's been on your needles!

The Fixer-Upper... The Dollhouse Saga Continues

2010-06-01T09:13:00.000-07:00

I have a serious problem. I love dollhouses. I must have bought and sold at least 5 of them, driven 80 miles through the rain for one, spent hours scouring craigslist. It's an obsession and I can't help myself. I have 3 boys and yet, I still feel incomplete without one! I no longer delude myself into thinking that it's something for the kids, I just now accept that it's my own thing.

I thought the Drewart was going to be The One. I was absolutely crazed with finding it. But once I had it here, it just didn't have the right feel. It wasn't as solid as the Kinderkram and it was bought new, which is an odd thing to have wrong, but I love the idea of buying toys with a history of childhood love and play. The wonderful thing about it was being able to pass it along to a very sweet family who I know will love and cherish it

So I packed up the furniture until I could find one that just spoke to me. I would deluge my friend Andrea's (another dollhouse obsessed mother of boys) inbox with photos of numerous potential candidates. I went back to cruising craiglist searching for dollhouses while wistfully wishing I had one to play with.

This past weekend, a listing came up for this dollhouse that had belonged in the same family for over 25 years! I liked the natural wood, I liked that the size would be large enough for all the boys to play with (if the mood should ever strike them), I liked that it was less than $50... but most of all, I just liked it because it reminded me of our own home that we live in when we first got it... a true fixer upper

The walls are made of plywood, the floor could use some refinishing

The bathroom is tiny...

... but there's the feeling of potential.
nice light in the boys room

an old cast iron stove in the kitchen

a sweet spot for dining

and a few interesting architectural details

while Luca thought his train fit in the living room nicely :)

So, these are the new dollhouse digs. Ivan was a bit taken aback by the size (about 40" wide and 30" tall), but I've place it in my own little reading nook to play with. The boys have actually taken a liking to it, though admittedly, it could just be the novelty of a new toy in the house.
I don't mind, for now at least I have a place to call my own :)

Silencing the Voice

2010-05-17T09:34:00.000-07:00

The village of wizards and princesses, built by Nico and his Mama

I've been in my mental cocoon lately. A time of absorbing the wisdom of others. Reading, listening and observing. A friend had passed along this article that discusses how as mothers, we often get caught up in the "busyness" of our work instead of relishing the joy of just being with our kids. That truly opened my eyes, as I had forgotten the supreme privilege I have in being able to stay at home full-time as a mother. So I started a journey this month of mindfulness. I've been learning to silence the voice in my head that tells me that the dishes are dirty, closets are cluttered and the laundry unfolded. I'm learning to gently remind it that I am busy building a castle with Nico or watching Matteo paint, or inviting to it to silence so we can hear our little Luca Bean sing as he plays with his toys....and it is a beautiful thing. I've learned that when I am listening to that voice, that's when I feel the most frustrated at not being able to do it ALL. That's when I am quick to anger for the mischief that little boys do and I realize that my little boys voices are much more important than the one chastising me for a messy house.

This has a been a wondrous and difficult time. I mean, this voice has been with me for quite some time. It doesn't just stop at telling me I need to be a better homemaker, it's the one which tells me I'll feel better if I just buy that vintage Ostheimer piece (that I can't afford and definitely don't need) or that eating that pint of Karmel Sutra will take away whatever hurt/frustration/anger/sadness that I don't want to feel. The voice originates from my history, my experiences... it comes from me, so there is a gentleness and respect I also need to afford it . I realized that I let myself go on autopilot letting the voice guide me rather than letting myself feel what is going on right now. So I've been very silent, immersing myself into every moment, trying to infuse my actions with a mindfulness guided by my heart.

So you can see, this is a pretty big journey that I am on. The voice seems to have a say in so many aspects of my life. I hope you don't mind as I share this journey with you. I'd love to know if you have a similar voice that resides with you ... or am I just a crazy person hearing voices :}? How do you silence it? How do you go about living your life fully and awake?

As Always With Love,
Marina

A Day At the Museum

2010-05-05T10:49:00.000-07:00

When Matteo was just an infant, I used to take him to San Francisco for the free days at the various museums. Wearing him in a carrier, it was sweet to walk around looking at the exhibits and art. I'd chat with him about what we were looking at and oftentimes find myself lost in paintings while swaying him back and forth in the dance that baby wearing mamas know all too well. After Nico was born, I found it harder to navigate public transportation and 2 small children so my museum visits came to an end. It was a really sweet and wonderful homecoming of sorts to take the boys to the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art this past weekend for Family Day.

There was a special workshop entitled "The Joy of Junk" where the kids were able to make musical instruments out of everyday household items.

The boys chose to make guitars out of boxes, cardboard tubes and rubber bands

The museum staff recorded the kids playing their instruments to compile them all into an audio exhibit for the future

Before our trip, I had made art journals for the boys out of plain paper and colored construction paper. We brought colored pencils so they could draw what they saw. Matteo had the best time looking at paintings and drawing his version of them. He giggled at Magritte's "Personal Values"... he called it "the comb was sleeping on the bed picture".

I was happily surprised that Matteo wanted to walk through all 5 floors of exhibits looking at all the pictures! Nico got a little restless (as a 3 year old is well entitled to be) so Ivan took him across the street to the Yerba Buena Gardens where he had a blast playing at the Martin Luther King Memorial Waterfall and dear Luca was the baby I wore napping on my chest this time.

It was exciting to see Matteo have such a great time at SFMOMA. It was like a return to full circle to have the little baby I used to carry through there, now interested in the art on his own. I think we're going to do an "art date" on our own sometime soon. I have to say that I absolutely can't wait :)

Moment to Moment

2010-04-26T11:59:00.000-07:00

I had the most amazing time a few days ago hiking up in the hills. It seems like it's been months since I've been able to get out into nature on my own. Last week I had been feeling low, it always takes me a few days to recalibrate after Ivan's been gone. I found it hard to breathe, to focus, to do anything other than try to survive one moment to the next and take care of my boys. With Ivan home, it finally felt like I could exhale.

We took the boys back to our small, gentle beach last Sunday. You could see the love and peace in Ivan's face to be back with his family

I've been spending a lot of time watching in wonder as my boys get older. Luca has been having so much fun with his older brothers playing and laughing with them. He really likes being one of the gang. I am amazed at how my baby just doesn't seem so much like a baby anymore

... and my Matteo... sigh, my oldest son, Matteo. This past week has been a flurry of activity getting all the forms, medical records and paperwork for Kindergarten registration. In all honesty I've been anxious. He's been in the protective cocoon of our home and care, with a few days a week at a loving, small preschool. Soon he'll be in a much bigger place and while I know he can handle it, I worry more over whether I can. So if any of you been there, done that mamas have any words of advice and consolation, I'd love to hear them.

In the meantime, I'll just keep hiking and working this all out within myself. Thank you all so much for your very kind and supportive comments and emails when I face my husband-less weekends. I feel like such a wimp compared to those whose husbands travel regularly for work. For those of you who are in that situation, my deepest admiration.

Wishing you all a blessed and wonderful week

Little Farmers

2010-04-16T09:24:00.000-07:00

Oh my, where has this week gone?! I really can't believe it's Friday already. So much has been going on, but the highlight of our week was going to visit my parents in the Central Valley, about 80 miles away. My dad has an amazing garden which my boys have really taken an interest in this year. On our last visit, they planted squash and wanted to call my dad daily to remind him to water them :). Needless to say, my dad LOVES this time with his grandsons, passing along his wisdom and love of gardening on to them.

Nico was happy to harvest some red leaf lettuce for us

Luca LOVES sugar snap peas!

Does anyone know what this is? The leaves are enormous and bitter! It's some kind of lettuce, kale or chard. I tried steaming it, and it ended up looking like collard greens, but would need a lot of doctoring up to make edible... I would love to know what it is and if anyone has a recipe for it since my dad has a few of them and doesn't know what they are either.

We found a little visitor in our harvest when we got home :)

I'm gearing up for Ivan's absence this weekend, stocking the refrigerator, tidying up the house, folding laundry so I can focus just on the boys over the next few days. Fortunately it looks like there are many fun, free things to do in the Bay Area this weekend, may be you can help me decide :) ?

Joining Zach Pine for some Nature Scultpures on Stinson Beach?
Heading over to campus for the Annual Cal Day Kids Events (theres's a fun workshop on fossils scheduled!)
Tilden Park Nature programs- making leaf prints on t-shirts or learning to identify animals by the signs they leave behind?
Going over to Ardenwood Farms for sheep-shearing day?

...or I could just go with the flow and see what mood strikes us when we wake up :)

Thanks for visiting and I hope you all have been enjoying the Great Outdoor Challenge!
I hope you all have a wonderful, fun weekend!

At The Beach

2010-04-12T06:00:00.000-07:00

When we get there, they're always dressed warmly for the brisk weather
and they play a bit at the waters edge

Despite the cold, shoes come off and pant legs get rolled up

and before you know it, they're splashing in the water

it's hard to mind too much when you see the joy in their faces

Hoping that you're enjoying your time outdoors!

Letterboxing with Friends

2010-04-10T00:35:00.000-07:00

The boys and I have really become addicted to Letterboxing since our last adventure and it became more fun for us this afternoon when we met up with our friends Nicola, Lala and Finn for a new outdoor treasure hunt at sweet, old, rustic park tucked away in the hills!

Since Lala was the big kid of the group - you know, being 5 and knowing right from left :)- she helped us out immensely with the first direction...
"go to the staircase furthest to the right"

For the next set of directions, Matteo had his trusty compass
"go up the staircases to the absolute most total northeast corner of this glorious old park"

"There you will see an old bay tree with a few holes in it next to about 20 stone stairs"
"At the top of the stairs is a redwood tree. Between the bay and the redwood, at the base of the redwood is the letterbox under the leaves"

...and there we found the wonderful journal and stamp left by HeartGirl on Valentines Day

It was such a pretty hike, with a gentle waterfall
many steps to climb
and an ancient playground that time forgot, with an actual see-saw!

I think Luca fell in love with the sweet Lala...
I know I did!

and I know that the boys had a wonderful time with friends and each other!

It's been a wonderful, amazing first week of this Great Outdoor Challenge! I've really been inspired by seeing how others enjoy their time outdoors. Here's a link where you can check them all out!

Matteo, the Nature Photographer

2010-04-08T14:51:00.000-07:00

One of the things I love about taking pictures is that you learn to see beauty everywhere. When I am outdoors, my eye begins to notice the details, colors and organic lines that Mother Nature has laid everywhere for all of us to enjoy. Today I handed Matteo our old point and shoot camera and invited him to take pictures of what caught his eye while we were walking. Once in awhile, I'd encourage him to get up close to his subject and I showed him how to work the zoom, but for the most part, I left him to his own devices. Over 300 (!!) photos later, I have to say I was stunned by the beauty my son found and captured. I really have no words, but wanted to share some of my young photographer's images with you...

I really encourage you all to try this with your children. It really just left me in awe and full of joy to see the beauty of the world through his eyes.

Come Out and Play!

2010-04-07T09:19:00.001-07:00

With three young boys, being outdoors is a way of life for our family. We live in a somewhat urban environment, but are fortunate to have a yard to dig in, beautiful parks within walking distance and even a beach a few miles away. Last year I was moved by the book Last Child In The Woods. It describes how many of today's children have lost their connection to nature and how exposure to the outdoors is essential to their development and well being. The book really resonated with me as I had been thinking a great deal about how technology, as wonderful and necessary as it can be, can also be taking us away from the gorgeous, natural world we live in.

The Children and Nature Network has designated April to be Children and Nature Awareness Month and the really awesome and awe-inspiring Lisa of 5 Orange Potatoes has challenged us bloggers to go outdoors with our children and show the world how we play :)! Every day, rain or shine, we will take photos of our kids outdoors and post it onto our blogs (as many of you have surmised, I'm an inconsistent blogger at best, but will show my boys outdoors with my posts). I hope you all will join me, blogger or not, and spend a few minutes each day outside... loving, learning and playing in nature.

We had actually spent the morning yesterday at one of our regional parks attending a gardening workshop for kids. There was a brief talk in the beginning where a naturalist described the basics of plants and what they needed to grow...

Then the kids all went outside to see some of the native plants in our area...

and plant some seeds of their own...

Here they are as hummingbirds helping pollinate the plants

...and at the end of the workshop they made their own gardening pots

with cannellini beans inside to grow

Thank you all for joining us on our outdoor adventure!
We can't wait to see yours!

Here are the others who are playing in the Great Outdoor Challenge, please go check them out!

Kaisa's new home is...

2010-04-01T20:01:00.000-07:00

"Thanks so much for the opportunity to adopt :-) Very sweet of you! My soon-to-be 2 year old daughter (and our entire household!) is still Bambo-less and we would love her if we were lucky enough to get her!"

Thank you so much all of you for participating! Kaisa will be going to her new home with Rebecca's family!

Next week, I will be giving away an Organic Blanket Bamboletta Baby to re-home (open to all as a thank you to the Bamboletta community and my blogging friends!), so please stop by again!

pssst... Rebecca, email me at pablohoneysf at gmail dot com so we can make Kaisa's travel arrangements :)

Barefoot Bamboletta for Adoption

2010-03-30T17:40:00.000-07:00

So the time has come for me to let go of a few things to make room for new energy in our home. One of those things is my beloved Bamboletta doll that the lovely Christina Platt of Bamboletta custom made for me less than a year and a half ago.

I named her Kaisa, after a sweet little girl I had met the previous summer. Christina was so wonderful and accommodating to my laundry list of wishes.. gorgeous, lush brown and auburn hair, Asian eyes- but not too slanted, orange sweater since that was my favorite color... I remember it the list being long and detailed and Christina never complained once.

When Kaisa arrived at my home (along with her companion, Paolo, for Nico's big brother present), my eyes misted over... here was my own little girl to dress and play with!

Fast forward almost 18 months... Kaisa has sat lonely in a doll bed for months at a time. Sadly, raising 3 wonderful, magical boys has left me little time to play with Kaisa... and my three boys? Well, they have their own boy dolls they'd much rather play with. So after months of hand-wringing indecision, I've decided to put Kaisa up for re-adoption in the hopes that she will go to a family where she will be loved and played with as she deserves.

I've checked out the Bamboletta Fan Page over on Facebook and have been amazed at the passion people have for these dolls! Uploads for new dolls occur once a week and they sell out within minutes, leaving many parents (and sadly, kids) disappointed that a Bamboletta is not to be at their home just yet. Dolls do come up for re-adoption, but tend to go in minutes as well to the fortunate few that are online at the time of the posting. So I've decided to level the playing field a bit by putting her up for re-adoption here and randomly selecting a home for her from the comments.

Here are a few things to keep in mind...

Please only leave a comment if you are interested in adopting Kaisa!
One comment per person please
I would like first- time mummies and "newbies" to have a chance to adopt her, so if you are already fortunate to have a Bamboletta in your home, please let those without one have a chance
As an fyi- Kaisa a 15" doll and has been in a pet and smoke free home
Adoption fee is $100 including shipping... Please feel free to enter if you're overseas, but I will have to ask a bit more to cover shipping internationally. Paypal preferred
I will randomly select a family from the comment section on Thursday, April 1st at 8PM PST and post the winner's name. Please contact me w/in 24 hours (pablohoneysf at gmail dot com) of posting so we can exchange information.
Please feel free to ask any questions with your comment

Thank you so much, I wish you all the best!

Adventures in Letterboxing

2010-03-30T07:50:00.000-07:00

The boys and I had our first marvelous adventure letterboxing last week! Exploring, treasure hunting, playing detective while running out in the woods... really, what could be more fun for kids?!

The basics of letterboxing are that someone will leave a letterbox (waterproof container) somewhere (usually a remote or beautiful spot). Inside the letterbox are a logbook and stamp. As an explorer, you will carry your own passport/journal, stamp, inkpad and pen. You follow the clues on the map to find your treasure. I found our first map here . When you find the letterbox, stamp the logbook with your stamp and leave a note if you wish, and then use the stamp inside the letterbox to mark your own passport. We tried a very simple straightforward map for our first hunt. There are more involved maps that use Shakespearean quotes as clues!

Here are the photos from our adventure!

"hike down the trail about half a mile"

"cross the wooden bridge at the end of the lake"

"count the 9 Redwood trees"

"At the 9th tree, turn left and take 9 steps towards the lake and the treasure will be under the tree"

After finding the letterbox, we were excited to find a notebook and stamp inside the container!

...and the stamps of explorers before us

Matteo stamped his passport

...and our journey for the day had ended

There is so much fun to be had with letterboxing! The boys and I made their passports from old watercolors they had done. There are wonderful instructions on how kids can make their own stamps here.... and of course there is the thrill of adventure as my boys were able to play explorers that afternoon!

Happy Adventures to All!

{This Moment }

2010-03-26T10:08:00.000-07:00

Inspired by Soulemama and all of you, I am posting a precious moment from our week

...during a hike, Matteo and Nico share a single sweet moment...

Happy Spring Weekend to All!

Waldorf Dolls- More Lessons from the Sage

2010-03-23T20:34:00.000-07:00

Recently, I spent another wonderful day at the Berkeley Rose School attending another doll making workshop led by my dear friend Christine Schreier of the Puppenstube. This time the focus was on making 8" dress up dolls.

As she had done in the previous workshop, Christine had pre-sewn the doll bodies to save time during the class.

I loved all the different skin tones she had prepared and chose a darker tone for my "baby" waiting to be birthed!

This class had a special visitor, a very sweet father who wanted to learn to make a doll for his child . Christine told a story about another man who had attended one of her dollmaking workshops for Waldorf teacher training . This gentleman always had trouble with the handwork until Christine invited him to use a bigger needle which made all the difference! The man had actually wept with joy in learning that he had been using the wrong tools! Fortunately for our father in attendance that day, no tears were shed :)

It's funny how you can feel so attached to your doll as you are making him or her. As I was stitching the shoulder, I found myself whispering "shhhhh" as one does to soothe a child... I was so worried that my "baby" was in pain from the needle!

The time flew so quickly that afternoon! We didn't get to finish the dolls hair, but I made a make-shift wig and will be working on a special hairstyle for my newest baby :)

When I brought this new baby home, Nico held her right away and immediately christened her "MamaLove"....

ahh, MamaLove indeed :)

Happy

2010-03-22T11:07:00.000-07:00

It's been a tough stretch here this past week. Ivan has had a lot of stress at work, and was gone the past few days caring for his mother. This morning I just lost it and sobbed. The exhaustion of taking care of my beautiful, exasperating little boys... trying to keep a house clean... the relief of having our family all together this morning and finally having some time alone just opened the floodgates of tears and pent-up frustration...

I feel cleansed and want to think about the things that make me happy... won't you join me?

Sunday morning at the farmers market with the boys

freesias on the windowsill

Luca Bean's smile

the dress made from a vintage embroidered pillowcase on Andrea's doll

...and Hillary's invitation to root down and reclaim the feeling of being one with nature

What is making you happy today :) ?

Rainy Day Cupcakes

2010-03-13T00:04:00.000-08:00

Sometime life is just great, REALLY great. Cupcakes on a rainy day GREAT.

The Inspiration Circle met this morning. I have to say, just in the nick of time. The school thing had been making me absolutely mental these past few weeks. All this time I had been spending in my head was starting to drive me insane. What I needed was face time with my friends and I got it. I love these women. They save me, they make me feel cool by association, they make me laugh... they rock.

Without further ado, I share with you photos of our morning and the fruits of their immeasurable talents and labor...

The immensely talented Emanuele shared her awesome felted Ebi sushi
Courtney started her Easter project for her lucky kids...

...an adorable nest!

Andrea works on her gorgeous doll
I was so incredibly happy that my blogging and real life friend, Nicola joined us for some knitting!

A rainy morning with cupcakes, crafty friends and a beautiful sleeping dog by the fire...
...really, isn't life great?

Kaia...sigh

Happy Weekend Everyone!

An Education

2010-03-10T10:31:00.000-08:00

A great deal of my mental space and energy these past few months has been devoted to choosing an education path for our children. Matteo will be turning 5 this summer and will be ready to enter Kindergarten in the Fall. This has been a difficult journey for me. I have loved the principles of Waldorf education for years, have embraced as much as I can here in our home, but the reality is that we simply cannot afford private education for 3 children. I am in awe of those of you who homeschool. I learn and am inspired so much by reading your blogs, but I know that at this point, I don't have the temperament, patience or talent to give my children what they need to learn the quantitative ways of the world. Eileen wrote so eloquently about her reasons to become "Waldorf Afterschoolers" (love that phrase!) and I believe that is the model our family will emulate.

So, I have spent the past few months touring our local schools. Where I live, public schools are assigned to families based on a lottery to make sure that there is socioeconomic diversity at all the schools. Each family can list it's school preferences in the application. What I found at our schools was amazing parental commitment at every school. I learned about the commitment our community has to the arts by providing each student music instruction (either flute or violin) in the 4th and 5th grades. I learned that every student is served a nutritional breakfast every morning at no cost. I learned that while public education was initially not my first choice, it's a choice that I can live -dare I say- happily with.

I chose a local school close to our neighborhood for it's small size and the comfort I felt by knowing many of the families from our small, wonderful preschool are there. I loved the intimacy of the school and the warmth of the teaching staff. My second choice was a magnet school, one of the largest schools in the city, highly regarded for it's integration of the arts into all aspects of education and the diversity of the school population.

We got our letter indicating our assignment, and of course... we got our second choice.

I felt panicky, I felt scared... what had I done by putting this as a preference??? The school is so big! We don't have any close friends there! The school is across town, I'll have to drive him to school, because God knows I will not let MY BABY get on a school bus! Yes, I freaked out. I felt so pushed out of my comfort zone.

And then I took a deep breath and realized it's not about me and the lost feeling of control. It's about my sons and the amazing opportunities they will have at this new school. Every morning they will leave our home, dressed warmly, lunches packed and every afternoon they will return to loving hugs and kisses and the comfort of what they have always known at our home. That is what I can control and I will trust that there are angels to watch over them while they are away from me.

The school assignment letter yesterday made it all so much more real that my first born, the one who made me a mother, is not a baby anymore. I watched Matteo and Nico running ahead of me to school this morning. They like to play a game where one will run ahead, stop turn around throw out his arms to welcome the other in a running embrace. It brought tears to my eyes. I felt that these simple days of walking to school together, showing unabashed affection for one another are coming to a close and it made my heart ache.

There is an exciting world awaiting not just Matteo, but our entire family. I will get involved with this big, breathtaking school that the universe has ultimately chosen for him. I will help his teachers clean paint brushes, join other parents to work in the garden, I will be part of my children's educational experience. I will know that this anxiety and fear is normal and part of MY journey of being a parent.

Most importantly, I will remember that this about my boys and their wonderful journey together into this world we live in.

At This Moment

2010-03-02T18:27:00.000-08:00

My precious Nico sleeps
tired by the day
he finds his favorite spot on the couch
pulls his favorite blanket up

and lets his busy little three year old hands be at rest

I love you, Nico Boy

Thank you all so much for your encouraging, supportive words about my last post. I'm still finding my way, but as Joy had reminded me through her own experience... I do still want to use this space to document my family's moments. Today such a moment sweetly presented itself...

Self Portrait

2010-02-24T23:22:00.000-08:00

I've been feeling a bit funky these days. In terms of physical health, I'm fine... and I'm not in a funk, per se ... but have just had an odd feeling of quiet but yet change coming. It's a new time in my life. I've spent most of the past 5 years pregnant....in constant anticipation of miraculous, wonderful new life. I suppose that it's not so different now, but the new life I am anticipating is my own.

I have to be honest in that as much as I live and breathe for my family, I've really been craving something for me. I'm spending more time working on my photography. running. letting myself get lost in my own head and thoughts about my own plans for the future.

I have to admit that my absence here and visiting other blogs is in large part due to guilt. So many bloggers are on such magical journeys with their children. I love being with my boys and we do have splendid fun together, but oftentimes I've felt that our day to day activities just don't seem all that blogworthy.

So I guess I am offering an apology for my quiet as I find my footing and path in this journey of life. I have so much gratitude for you, my friends who are always there to lend a hand to hold, shoulder to cry on or even a high five when things are going great. You inspire me...and I hope you know this isn't a goodbye, just an explanation that I'm vacationing in my head

Resting in the silence for now...

With Warmth and Blessings~
Marina

Spring Cleaning

2010-02-11T20:17:00.000-08:00

I've been feeling kind of quiet these days. There's been a sweet rhythm going on in our home. The rains that went on for weeks have stopped and already warmer weather and Spring seem to be upon us.

I've spent my time cleaning our home, removing the myriad of things that seem to accumulate and block the flow of an uncluttered life. My kitchen countertops shine and I actually find joy in cooking for my family again.

The boys and I walk to school and take the time to smell the flowers

The afternoons are spent doing crafts such as these Valentines finger puppets for friends

... but mostly I spend a great deal of time just watching my beloved boys... relishing this time of them being so little... so playful

Right at this moment, I am happy and content...
I am savoring this moment of feeling quiet and settled as we all know these times can be fleeting and short lived

Sending You Love and Joy,
Marina

Inspiration Point

2010-01-31T10:21:00.000-08:00

Sunday morning, 8:06am

Thank you Mother Nature for providing this gorgeous view this morning for my run!

Little Stitches

2010-01-27T19:10:00.000-08:00

If I hadn't heard the story first hand, I would have thought it was an urban legend. One afternoon a friend of mine confided in me that while she didn't consider herself very crafty, her husband was. Not only knew did he know how to sew, but he had actually made her wedding dress. And not just any wedding dress, but one of those beautiful traditional Chinese red silk wedding dresses! When I saw her husband some time later, I asked him how he learned to sew and he shrugged his shoulders and simply replied "my mother taught me".

So, while I am not exactly preparing my sons to make their future brides wedding attire, I hope to make them feel comfortable with the idea of sewing. This afternoon I gave Matteo and Nico a bit of burlap in embroidery hoops, large tapestry needles and some yarn while I set up some things for my own sewing project.

Last Summer I bought myself a nice stack of Anna Maria Horner's Good Folks fat quarters. A quilt, a princess and the pea set later... I still had little scraps of fabric that I was hesitant to throw away, because it was just.so.pretty.... I was sure I could find some use for it later! Well, the inspiration came to me over the weekend, when I came across these wonderful camera straps from House on Hill Road (and what a gorgeous blog!). Learning that Erin was out of stock, I decided to try making one myself.
I have to admit that I was very wary of making my own camera strap. With a few of our lenses, the camera can be a bit heavy and I didn't want to risk having any kind of malfunction where I would see my beloved camera in pieces on the ground due a faulty strap of my own making, so I decided to make a simple patchwork cover for the strap.

I patched together some of the fabric pieces, quilted it with bamboo and used some corduroy fabric for backing and slipped the camera strap through it... voila! Instant personal style!

One of my favorite features I was able to put on it was a small pocket to hold lens caps. I think this is Ivan's favorite feature as well, since I'm notoriously bad at finding the caps when it's time to put them on.
With the camera around my neck so often these days, I love that I can also merge my passion for crafting with a strap of my own making, rather than something that blasts the make and model of my gear.

It was a fun afternoon, sewing with my boys. They seemed to enjoy being part of the process, picking out scraps and pretending to sew with their little wooden sewing machine. I'm hoping that years from now, when asked how they learned to stitch, a simple shrug and smile will follow with the words:

"My mother taught me :) "

Recalibration

2010-01-25T11:57:00.001-08:00

..: exhale :..

Monday morning 10:18am
the children in trusted, loving hands

Alone
after a weekend without beloved husband, father, soulmate

At a favored French cafe
journal, and cafe au lait in hand

time to gather my thoughts
and recalibrate

getting my bearings back
my head empty,
to fill up again
with life's laundry list

for now
I will savor the quiet
the food before me
and be grateful for all the precious gifts and small moments
that I have been given the gift of this time alone
to see

Waldorf Dolls- Learning from the Sage

2010-01-17T19:02:00.000-08:00

Today, I spent a rainy afternoon in the warmth of the beautiful Berkeley Rose Waldorf School learning how to make Waldorf dolls from dollmaker extraordinaire, Christine Schreier. As many of you know, Christine is the proprietor of the wonderful Puppenstube. She also shares her incredible expertise with others in her dollmaking workshops.

Christine started the workshop with a candle lit in the middle of the table. In her own work, it is a practice that she does to invite the spirit of the beings that she is creating and to hold the focus of what she is doing in the highest intent. It reminds her that she is creating not only for her own benefit, but that the work she is doing is going out in the world representing something, in the case of a doll, a human being. She strives to put her best intention out towards that and it reminds her that creativity is a sacred gift.

She had brought pre-made bodies made out of velour for the Nicky dolls and wool for the Bunting Babies. One of the truly unique and wonderful aspects about Christine's methods of making dolls is her use of recycled materials when possible and normal every day items. It was nice to know that it's not necessary to buy specialty doll making supplies. I love that repurposed sweaters, skin colored knits (like t-shirts) and dental floss (for strong thread) are items that can be found locally and inexpensively.

We learned forming the body comes first, so that the dolls head can be made proportionally

I had been intimidated for quite some time on how to make a Waldorf doll head, but through Christine's teaching, found it to be not as daunting as I had feared. (Though I still was uncomfortable with sticking such a long needle into my "baby's" head!)

Adding features to our dolls

Christine's wonderful pincushion made from a recycled sweater.

Christine gave us a little peek into her basket where she keeps the dresses for her flower children in progress. We're hoping that can be another workshop in the future :)

I snuck off for a few moments to take a picture of the lovely space that is the Berkeley Rose School.

...and here is my new baby

she's very tired after a long day of being birthed :)

When I arrived home, Matteo instantly hugged the newest member of our doll family and asked if he could care for the new baby. It was as if he could feel the love that I had poured into making my first Waldorf doll. It was a magical day, getting to know some really lovely women, spending time with a dear friend and learning a new handwork skill to that instantly brought my child joy.

With much gratitude for the sacred gift of creativity,

Marina

Holga-The Luddites Camera

2010-01-14T14:14:00.000-08:00

*note to self* a purse will screw up photo composition every time

I've been cheating on my camera

I met another one recently, Holga. I picked her up for $25. She's cheap, unpredictable, flawed... but all of these qualities make her oh so much fun. I love the vignetting of the images, the retro feel of the photos and the soft, ethereal quality the camera produces. These are a few pictures from my first roll, nothing spectacular, but I see the promise.

If you look in the mirror you can see Nico and Luca battling it out at the train table, while I am blissfully ignoring them taking this picture

shot up through a horizontal tire swing

In an age where people are always looking to better their lives through new technology, the luddite in me appreciates that I need to put gaffers tape along the camera seams to prevent light leaks. With my beloved digital camera, I can see images instantaneously on the display screen. Holga is a rules girl playing hard to get and makes me wait a few days for film processing.

Despite it all, I'm still in the throes of a deep infatuation... sigh

So, friends... please share, what low-tech item gives you joy?

Thank you so much everyone for your truly wonderful, supportive comments on my new venture into interior photography! Being new to this field, I'm still feeling insecure about my skills and you all are helping me gain the confidence to keep moving forward! I've been spending less time on the blog as I have been fortunate to get more properties to practice on, but I wanted to let you all know how grateful I am for your encouragement! xoxo, Marina

WIP Wednesday-Photographing Interiors

2010-01-06T19:53:00.001-08:00

A loft I shot today. With 3 kids, do you seriously think this would be my house?

I've been feeling a bit of an itch these days. Wanting to feel like I can be more than mother, wife, daughter and sister. Though I love and cherish all those roles... I want a title... you know, something glamorous like photographer. I've had the incredible good fortune to photograph toys for some wonderful websites, but realizing that niche can be limiting, I started looking into various other specialties. I ran into a realtor friend recently who suggested I try shooting real estate properties and it seemed like a light went off in my head. OF COURSE! I love interior design! I love watching HGTV! I can do this! So this wonderful friend offered to let me practice on one of her recent listings.

That's what I did this morning and I have to be honest and say it.was.hard. I learned how much I still have to learn about lighting, about composition, about my darn camera. I wanted to name this post "tearing my hair out". Before today, I was quite verbal in how much I hated how those super wide angle lenses made some interiors look distortedly large, but I swear to you, as I was standing in a shower of a bathroom that was barely 5" by 5" trying to get a shot of the entire bathroom, I would have given my eye teeth for one of those. Sometimes when the frustration was running high, I would stop. Take off the 20mm lens and put on the beloved nifty fifty (50mm) for some closeup shots that would soothe me.

Despite the frustration, I still felt so much excitement about the possibilities and it felt as if the universe kept delivering more signs that perhaps this was what I should do as more opportunities seemed to present themselves today. While I was shooting at my friend's listing, the stager who had done the house stopped by and we chatted for awhile. After learning that I was just starting out and working on my portfolio, he very generously offered to take me to a few of his recent jobs to get more practice. So what had started out as a single home photoshoot, turned into three!

There is so much for me to learn, not the least of which is reigning in my impatience and frustration, but I am trying to do as my lovely husband gently chides me "patience".

My crafting will continue, but for this moment I hope you don't mind that I share my photography as a work in progress.

Thank you so much for all of your encouragement!

New Year

2010-01-04T16:04:00.000-08:00

New Years, we found ourselves by the water. It's one of the true cliches of living in California that you can be sledding in the snow one day and then digging at the beach that same week.

Sitting by the water brings me to a place of calm introspection while I watch my boys at play.

I was reminded of time passing along far too quickly with my Luca Bean taking his first steps that day

I'm not very good at making New Years Resolutions. I know that there are areas in my life that could be improved, but I also know that I want to be gentle with myself and my expectations. So instead, I sit and envision the life that I want for me and my family. I want closeness, I want happiness, I want the boys to feel unconditionally loved... I want to create bonds that will hold us all together through the years...

But I also want the boys to feel freedom and independance... I want to help them discover who they are... and to find joy on their own

That is my journey, thank you for joining me in it...

Happy New Year, Dearest Friends
May this year bring you joy

With Love,
Marina

A Happy Holiday

2009-12-29T00:12:00.001-08:00

After weeks of preparations, decorations, gifts to make and a flu bug making it's rounds through the family, we ended up having a very sweet and lovely holiday up north with my husband's family. I thought I'd share a few photos of our holiday celebration...

The boys made a gingerbread train with their beloved Nonniey and Auntie H

A very adorable gift on Christmas morning!

Nico gives me the gift of his gorgeous, happy smile

Roxie the sweet-faced pug who I wanted to sneak home with us

The day after Christmas we went up to Lassen National Park where the boys played in the snow for the very first time!

Daddy and Nico sled

... and my attempt to pose the boys for a Christmas photo.Matteo and Nico are pretending to be Christmas monsters while Luca stares at something shiny in the distance ;}

I'm hoping that all of you had joyous celebrations with your loved ones! I'll be back in a few days to share photos of the homemade goodness that found its way to our home this holiday season, but until then I'm wishing you a happy and healthy New Year!

Much Love,
Marina

Glorious Times

2009-12-16T12:02:00.000-08:00

There's been rain and blustery weather here, but I have to admit that I actually love the times when we experience something resembling winter. We all stay sequestered inside, not feeling the constant rush to be somewhere or do something.

We had actually picked up our tree almost 2 weeks ago, but got around to making ornaments for it last weekend. With Luca Bean who still likes to explore the world through his taste buds, we've put aside some of the older, more fragile ornaments for now and have been making new ornaments to become a part of our family history

As a child, Ivan remembered making salt and flour ornaments and helped the boys make their own

I dried some orange slices for garlands for our tree and around the house

By some miracle, I'm finally getting holiday cards out before New Years Day!

With the sweet light of the Advent candles, we celebrate the animal kingdom

...But we are far from immune from going stir crazy from being homebound. The breaks in the rain make for some excellent puddle hopping opportunities!

So please excuse me for my infrequent presence online, I've been huddling in the warmth that is our family and hope that all of you are able to feel the joy in these glorious times

WIP Wednesday- Return of the Crafting Mojo

2009-12-09T14:51:00.000-08:00

Eight o'clock at night has become a pretty special time for me. The boys are all tucked into their beds and I finally get my quiet time for crafting. I have time to peruse your blogs for inspiration, sit down and focus on instructions and actually have some time without distractions to let my imagination and hands work together! For whatever reason, I felt like I was in a crafting slump for most of November. Then this past week, something clicked (funny how swap deadlines will do that to you!) and I felt like I had all these ideas just waiting to be formed into actual creations.

The talented Maike inspired me so much with her wonderful Adventswichtel that as soon as the boys fell asleep that night I had to make my own little wichtelman for our tree!

For the Seasons Round Exchange, I decided to try making my first felted doll. For anyone who wants to try this, I have to say that the book More Magic Wool is a fantastic resource! I sat at our kitchen table with a pile of wool, felting needle, that book and my Snow Angel was born.

Two of Nico's darling little friends had a joint car themed birthday last weekend and certainly needed crowns to commemorate the occasion!

I participated in a very fun ornament exchange where I was able to play with our wood burning tool a bit and have some fun actually doing some cursive writing! It had occurred to me that almost all my written communication these days is with a keyboard. This was definitely good practice getting my fingers ready to write out our holiday cards!

The boys made a few lovely hand-dipped beeswax candles at a Winter Faire last weekend, so Ivan and I drilled a few holes into a found piece of wood to make our own custom candle holder :). Shown here with the Fire Element Gnome from ZooLooNaturals.

Lastly I will end with my knitting project that has been sitting in my bag for months... what I call the Scarf of a Thousand Bad Stitches. There really is no reason or rhyme to this scarf. I knit a few rows, purl a few... I don't even pay much attention to how many stitches are across (gasp!). I just wanted something to keep my hands busy when I have a free moment.

There has been a lot of crafting and creating going on around here this past week. I'm grateful for the return on my crafting mojo and for all of you who inspire and encourage me. I'd love to hear what you're working on these days!

Happy Work In Progress Wednesday!

Holiday Spirit

2009-12-06T20:11:00.000-08:00

A busy week and weekend with school meetings, birthday parties, winter festivals, craft deadlines...

...and then finally, a beautiful moment of peace at the advent spiral walk

a woman playing lovely harp music

quiet

light

and

stillness

inside of me

and I wanted to share this as a small gift to you

...Wishing everyone moments of calm and bliss...

Love, Marina

The Atelier

2009-12-02T10:19:00.000-08:00

My son, Matteo, is an artist.

He loves to draw, he loves to paint, he loves to make things with his hands. This week, as we have been moving things around the house in preparation for the holidays, I decided to set aside an area to honor his desire to create, thus creating The Atelier :)...

Over the Thanksgiving holidays, I brought home an old rustic cabinet that I had been keeping at my parents house. I have so many fond memories from this bookcase as it was one of the first pieces of furniture I had purchased for my first apartment. A friend and I had gone thrifting in a seedy part of Chicago and this little gem seemed to be calling out to me to take it home. As my career moved me from city to city, this bookcase held all my treasured books. Now, that I believe that I am in the home I will stay in for the rest of my life... my beloved bookshelf is home as well. Though now instead of holding books, it is home to the tools that my son uses to express his imagination.

I hung a few of our playsilks above the work table, a rainbow of colors to provide inspiration

We've always felt that Matteo would let us know when it was time for him to learn his letters and he has shown interest in learning to write his name. I love these beautiful cards which make the alphabet seem like art.

I have to admit that part of the impetus to create the Atelier were these incredible natural crayon caddies handmade by my lovely, creative friend Nicola. She was so incredibly generous in gifting all three of my boys with a set! I decided to use one with the wonderful colored pencils she gifted us with, one with colored markers that Matteo enjoys, and the last one with these twig crayons we had.

I love that Matteo has such a strong love of art and creating and I hope that it is a passion that stays with him for the rest of his life. For now I will rejoice and revel in the beauty that is his childhood and the art that is his gift.

Yours in the love of childhood creation,
Marina

*Nicola is doing a giveaway for one of her amazing natural crayon caddies on her wonderful blog this week! Please do take a moment to check it out!*

Loving Hands

2009-11-30T21:29:00.000-08:00

Nico and Birgitte

Recently at our local Waldorf School's Harvest Faire, I had the most wonderful opportunity to visit with my dear, dear friend Christine Schreier, the proprietor of The Puppenstube. Sometimes in your life, you are fortunate to meet people whose spirit touches you with warmth and whose lifeforce gives you so much joy...Christine is one such person. While many of you know her from the gorgeous wooden Buntspechte figures she carries in her shop, it is her dolls that I hold close to my heart. It's become increasingly important to me to have the toys that my children play with be made with loving hands. Hands that put love and care into their craft. Hands that want to honor this magical time that is childhood. Though hundreds of dolls have been birthed through her hands, you can feel her joy in creating each one.

Luca sleeps with his Star Child Baby

Recently Christine moved up north to Lake County where she is neighbors with the illustrious Bill Bluhm of Heartwood Arts. I had the privilege to meet Bill that day and I have to say, I was a bit star struck. Bill is the inventor of the building playclip, each one made by his hands, and the artist who creates beautiful gnome homes. Bill is a big, gentle bear of a man who is so incredibly thoughtful in his work. He is an artisan who creates toys that honor nature and allow children to fully explore where their imagination takes them.

Luca with one of his favorite toys, the hollow from the Heartwood Arts block set

These amazing artisans Christine and Bill, have begun collaborating on new toy designs and I was blessed to be the recipient of their first collaboration... the ferrynewcastle.

"The original and first ferrynewcastle for Marina by Bill Bluhm, 11/17/09"

This piece was inspired by a dream that visited Bill one night. When he woke the next morning, he set to work on recreating this vision and by the end of the day the ferrynewcastle was born. It is an incredibly beautiful piece of art that takes my boys away in their play to magical lands where little gnomes and fairies hide.

Christine and Bill, both of have years of experience of being toy makers, but more importantly also of being Waldorf parents. They are truly lovely wonderful people and it is reflected in the playthings that they create. There are many new designs in the works for the upcoming year and I am so excited to see what transpires with my dear friend and my new friend!

Much love and gratitude to you, Christine and Bill!

41

2009-11-28T20:51:00.000-08:00

Dragon Boy and Me

41 sounds so old
I have a few grey hairs
More than a few pounds of baby weight to shed...

...but I also have an adoring, adorable husband

who makes me rainbow cake for my birthday

A little baby boy who lets me put goofy hoods on him
(and says "Mama" for the first time today!)

Two little boys who still believe that if they look hard enough, they will see fairies and gnomes

...and I feel like I have it all :)

Gratitude

2009-11-25T14:57:00.000-08:00

*My brother made this really incredible video of our afternoon, I wanted to share!*

For the lovely, sun-lit day spent with family

For my sweet, funny boys who melt my heart and shower me with hugs and kisses

For my husband who is the heart and rock of our home

For my parents who though I am grown with children of my own, make me feel cared for and constantly remind me that I am a daughter who is loved

For my brother who reminded me today how much he loves me through his beautiful work

For my friends who support me and make me laugh when life seems too serious to be funny

For all of you for just always being present and caring...

I give thanks and gratitude

Wishing a Happy Thanksgiving To You All

With Love,
Marina

Our Luca Bean is One!

2009-11-22T18:32:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to our Luca Bean!

It's hard to believe that it's only been a year that you've been with us!

Our souls feel as if they've been joined for an eternity

Little boys shouldn't be as beautiful, sweet and as charming as you are

but you manage :)

...and we are joyful
that we are family

Happy, Joyous Birthday to Our Precious Boy!

Chasing the Light

2009-11-18T18:18:00.000-08:00

Photography is new love for me. The camera and I only been acquainted for a year but oh, I do love it so. I love the stillness in the moment before the shutter clicks... I love the way I look at things differently as if framing a shot...I love how I see things through new eyes that finds the beauty in everything and I love the reverence I feel when a scene illuminated by natural light strikes a chord within...

I don't really know how to use the flash well, so I learn how to use the camera to catch the light in the way that I'd like, but more often than not I learn to follow the light wherever it may be.

Recently I started working on a photography project for the wonderful toy website Carl and Me. I'm photographing some of our boys favorite toys, Fagus vehicles. It's been a fun assignment positioning the trucks as seen through the eyes of a child as I often found myself belly down in the dirt.

But the light, sigh, the light. What a funny mistress she is, dancing through the trees in the morning for beautiful effect or shining harshly in the afternoon- giving everything a bright, white caste. As the days grow shorter, I find myself missing the light as the sun sets ever so early. It makes for a funny photography schedule, but I am thankful for a patient, generous toyshop proprietor.

So this has been my work in progress these days, doing what I love, spending time with the camera and chasing the light...

As always with warmth and light~
Marina

Please do take a moment and check out Carl and Me. I found this incredible shop when I was searching for my Nico's birthday gift. Not only do they carry an extensive selection of the wonderful, high quality Fagus Trucks which are made in a German Factory that hires and trains developmentally challenged adults, there is also an amazing selection of toys that as mother of three boys, I know I will look forward to having in the years to come!

Nourishment

2009-11-13T21:25:00.000-08:00

Nourishment. That is the only word I can use to describe my morning with my crafty friends who I call my Inspiration Circle. I think I must have gone for too long of a stretch with only the kids and not enough "me time" because there were more than a few times that I probably was laughing a little too loudly or sitting there with a huge, dumb grin on my face, just out of the sheer joy of being with other women who just get it. Women who are warm, creative, talented and oh my God, funny as all get out. It's really so wonderful to hang out with moms who are just so real. I'm truly a lucky gal :)

Andrea taught me how to spin wool using a drop spindle. I never thought of yarn as having an energy, but as I spun it I could see how the feel of it and the movement can lend itself to a certain energy.

Beth was learning how to Andean Ply, a method in which one length of yarn (or single ball) is made into a two ply yarn by wrapping it in ones hand and then taking the two ends and re-spinning it in the other direction.

Andrea is spinning using this gorgeous drop spindle called a Jenkins Turkish Spindle. The crossbars are made out of pink ivory wood, her son calls those spindles The Helicopters.

Namja was working on a knitted fairy doll. I could not believe the four tiny needles she was using to make the arms and thumb! Her three year old daughter told her the arm looked like a part of the male anatomy... and of course, with the mindset of thirteen year old girls at a slumber party, we found this hilarious.

Jenny displays the crocheted blanket in progress which was incredibly yummy and soft

Kay works on a scarf for her daughter

Look at this beautiful rustic loom Andrea's husband found on the sidewalk!

I really love and treasure these times with these incredible women, there is so much learning and encouragement! I feel like this is what morning tea would be like if you, my dear blogging friends could all come together :)

Thank you my wonderful crafty friends near and far,
for all the inspiration and nourishment you provide!

Work In Progress Wednesday- Me and Some Ornaments

2009-11-10T20:22:00.000-08:00

Watching and learning as Luca crawls away

You'll have to excuse me as I hijack the WIP theme to talk about the most pressing work in progress lately- me. As I read my many parenting books a common theme arises of the inner work of parents. For me, it means developing the emotional strength to give your children the best of you that you are able and sometimes doing less. I have to admit that until recently, I had always tended to the helicopter style of parenting, hovering over the boys as they were little making sure that they wouldn't fall to now refereeing the older boys skirmishes. But I am learning to take a step back. I'm learning to trust that the Luca may have some frustrations as he learns to stand... and falls again. I'm learning that when I resolve conflict between Matteo and Nico I'm taking away the opportunity for them to learn how to work things out and compromise. I have to be honest in that it is a lot of work to learn to trust in the process.

Yesterday we were at our favorite park. There are gorgeous large redwood trees and a beautiful babbling stream that runs through it. Matteo and Nico decided to explore along the stream, then decided to explore in the stream. My first instinct was to scream at them to get out of the water, but I took a step back and looked at the situation from a larger perspective... it wasn't that cold (this is California after all) and the stream was slow moving and pretty shallow. So I took a deep breath and let them be.

Of course, they had a wonderful time. They played explorers, they played that they were fishermen, they simply just played. So I am learning, I am doing my inner work and seeing the rewards of my children learning to be strong and independent.

I wonder how other mothers do it... how do you find the strength to let your children fall and make their own choices for better or worse? As the boys get older and their world gets larger, it does get exciting but more anxiety producing for at least this mama. I'd love to hear your thoughts and how you do it...

So not to totally take this post off the WIPster track, here are some ornaments I'm working on using wood slices and a wood burning gun.

... in celebration of my precious, magical boys...

Happy Birthday, Nico Fantastico!

2009-11-09T10:07:00.001-08:00

My Love,
You are three today and we feel so blessed that we are yours and you are ours.
You take my breath away with your exuberance for life.
Yes, it makes a mama anxious how you jump into all things feet first,
with nary a glance at the consequences,
but it also inspires my admiration for how you embrace life and all that it offers...
All the world is yours to discover

You are a whirlwind
You are beautiful
You are amazing
You are so very loved, little Nico Lico.

I love you my precious boy
Thank you for choosing us

With all my heart,
Mama

Singin' in the Kitchen

2009-11-04T18:50:00.000-08:00

Matteo and Luca spent an afternoon playing in the kitchen...

Matteo was cooking up something tasty

We set fruit on the table

Had a Cafe Fanny postcard for inspiration

Luca set the table

Matteo served up the meal

Here we go singin' in the kitchen

all together now singin' in the kitchen
Everybody singin' in the kitchen
bangin' on the pats and pans

Mommy and daddy singin' in the kitchen
baby laughin' singin' in the kitchen
All the kids singin' in the kitchen
bangin' on the pats and pans

- "Singin' in the Kitchen", Shel Silverstein

Wishing everyone a lot of happy singin' this weekend!

WIP Wednesday- Little Furniture

2009-11-04T09:02:00.000-08:00

I've been obsessed lately with the look of Waldorf Kindergarten Rooms and how I can replicate some aspects of them into our home.

(I had asked Ivan if we could make the boys playspace look more like a Waldorf Kindergarten and his reply to me totally without sarcasm was "you mean it doesn't already?")

Many Waldorf Kindergartens have these gorgeous lazured peachy pink walls, which sadly, even as forward thinking as Ivan is, he probably wouldn't allow me to do at home, especially in the dining room which is the boys primary play space. What is really striking for me is the use of natural materials as playthings and furniture. So we spent the weekend gathering wood scraps locally to outfit our playspace.

We brought home two of these redwood stumps from a site where there had been some tree removal.

The boys and I had a splendid time removing the bark from the tree. As much as I appreciate the aesthetic of leaving the bark on, redwood bark can be quite messy and houses some little guests that I don't necessarily want also residing inside our home. I used a hammer and a cold metal chisel to loosen the bark and the boys quite enjoyed ripping it off :). We ended up saving the bark that came off in big pieces as the boys wanted to use it for gnome homes.

After taking the bark off, I moved this massive piece of wood onto to our deck to do the sanding... I mention this only because the darn thing weighs over 80 pounds and I nearly threw out my back moving it! I spent a bit of time sanding the jagged surface and edges. The wood was actually still a bit "wet" from being recently cut and I didn't want some of the pieces hanging to dry and splinter. Matteo told me that he thought the grain looked like a rainbow :).

I have a bit more sanding to do and I'd like to put a finish it. A toymaker told me his trick of mixing flaxseed oil and beeswax, coating the wood object and then letting it sit in the sun covered with a black garbage bag for a few days to let the finish bake in. But for now, my Matteo was anxious to use the table for his own tree blocks building

Once it's done, I'll have Ivan move it indoors where I think it can be various things, like a nature table, play table, kids chair or even turn it upside down to be a teeter totter of sorts. I love that this was something free from nature and that it truly can be whatever we imagine it to be....

What are some of you and your childrens favorite natural toys?

Thanks for checking in on my work in progress! I'm hoping that I'll have something smaller (and significantly lighter!) to share next week!

A Mama Made Fright

2009-10-31T06:20:00.000-07:00

The awesome Annie seemed to sum up my feelings on the whole all night costume debacle perfectly....

"I'm so stubborn that the costumes from the MIL would tick me off and I'd stay up all night tonight too finishing costumes even they were sewn upside down and backward ;)"

So with all due respect for my mother in law and her very sweet intentions, after staying up all night to make costumes I was certain that some unwritten cardinal rule had been broken, that after you give birth, you have the right to choose all holiday attire for your children, until they can verbalize what they want themselves OR unless you abdicate that right to someone else (you can see that the failed prelaw student in me comes out when I'm miffed;}).

I took Wednesday night off to let off steam with Ivan and take-out Indian food and I did what I had to do on Thursday night to make the costumes wearable. By Friday morning, my boys were dressed and ready to go....

Matteo is giving his scary dinosaur impression, while Nico looks on woefully.

Yes, woefully. The poor kid hated the costume. I used "ecofelt" (aka recycled plastic crap fabric) because it was cheaper and I thought it would be OK for something that would be worn for an hour maximum. I think he is just so sensitive to textiles that it really, truly made him uncomfortable. It also didn't help that I snarled at him tersely beforehand that He.Will.Wear.That.Costume. Definitely not my finest parenting moment. It was a hard morning for my lovely, sweet son. While his friends danced and sang in circle time, he huddled up on my lap and as soon as the teachers announced that it was time for the Halloween parade (a walk up the block and back), Nico burst into tears. I felt really and truly horrible.

So I very gladly and happily helped him take off the hated costume that I was up all night sewing and we followed the others up the street, my Nico dressed just as his beautiful, lovely self for the Halloween parade.

Holding hands with his friend, the highpoint of Nico's Halloween Festivities

So this Halloween day, The Small Tribe will spend it in a very low key way. During the day, a walk to a friend's block party, complete with jumpy house, and an evening making popcorn, homemade candy and telling stories sounds like a perfect Halloween for us all.

Wishing you and your little goblins a Happy Halloween!

WIP Wednesday- Halloween Costumes at Midnight

2009-10-28T09:03:00.000-07:00

Last night at 11:30PM

Last night I unearthed my sewing machine from the ungodly mess that is my crafting area with the understanding that I only had 35 hours until the boys Halloween parade at school and I had better get crackin' on the dragon/dinosaur costumes that I had promised them 6 weeks ago and for some reason I thought last night was Wednesday night, which gave me less time.

(Wow, that was quite the run on sentence, I guess that happens when you're blogging after sleeping for an hour)

Yup, stayed up ALL NIGHT to sew those costumes. Even managed to sew a sleeve on upside down... and they are still not finished. I was making so many mistakes by 5AM that I decided to put them aside and go at them again tonight.

Obviously I am delirious and sleep deprived, but for some odd reason thought this was worth posting.

The best part? My dear husband mentions to me this morning that his mom bought dinosaur costumes for the boys and would be dropping them off today.

I'm going to bed

Happy WIP'ing Wednesday to you all.

And the winner is....

2009-10-26T16:57:00.000-07:00

*erin* from My Faery Garden! Congratulations, Erin! Please email your mailing address to me (pablohoneysf at gmail dot com) and the two-tier stainless steel lunchbox will be on it's way this week!

I cannot begin to thank everyone who joined the fun and left a comment! I was amazed and inspired by everyone's snack and lunch suggestions!

Kay from Luncharound was also extremely very thrilled that the word is out there about Earth and kid-friendly lunchbox systems that she passed along this little note with a coupon code for those of you who are interested in getting one and for local folks, places to find them here in Berkeley...

OK, So, I was thinking.... for those loyal followers of yours who wanted to have a stainless steel tiffin or oval, there are MORE ways to find them!!

Locals can now test-drive and feel the quality of the Zebra brand tiffins and ovals. I find that when someone actually handles this products or have their kids work the latches, they'll understand why we were so impressed and HAD to make them available for ecological minded folks in the States. These products are made responsibly in Thailand since 1967 using high grade as well as thick gage, stainless steel. As we've seen in the seen from the Sigg BPA issue, knowing how and where products are manufactured is just as important as the products intended use. Also the tiffins are designed to where a child can easily stack them on top of each other, where the bowls are interchangeable and the lid can be used on top of either tier (the pyramid types were found to be trickier for younger children as they had to make sure that the bigger tier was on the bottom otherwise it wouldn't stack and lock in place). The Zebra brand products are built to last- and I'm so happy to know that this simple, old school product will help encourage parents to think about how our children's lunch is being packed and try to make a conscious decision to reduce the amount single use disposables and plastics that end up in our city's landfills. Ok, enough preaching- Luncharound proudly distributes Zebra brand tiffins and ovals to:

Hannah's Children's Resale

1871 Solano Ave
Berkeley, CA 94707

Berkeley's Ecology Center Store

2530 San Pablo Ave (near Dwight)
Berkeley, CA 94702

On line shoppers can receive15% off by visiting:

http://www.goluncharound.com/

Coupon Code: SMALL15

*Luncharound does not ship international, but I can help you locate an on-line shop that will. Just contact me at: kay@goluncharound.com

Thanks for your support everyone!!!

Thanks again to everyone for the well wishes on my blogiversary and for entering my first giveaway... you've made this a fun celebration!

My Blogiversary, Some Ramblings and FINALLY, a Giveaway!

2009-10-21T09:11:00.001-07:00

What a coincidence, I finally some time to sit down and blog this morning and realized that it's been a year since my very first post! So much has happened, our little Luca has joined us, Matteo and Nico are in school together and we suffered some heartbreak. Through it all, you have been with our family on this journey, rooting us on and holding my hand through the tough times. Thank you so much my dear, dear friends. In my wildest dreams, I never would have expected to make so many lovely friends, near and far and I feel so much the richer for it. I'm sending my deepest and most heartfelt gratitude to you all.

So, a funny thing happened while our computer was down and I was on an internet break...

I really, really liked it

My house was a little cleaner, I caught up on some reading and most importantly, I felt more connected to my family. It was eye opening how much being online can take over mental space even when you're not on the computer. For me, it was less time to be writing posts in my head, surfing for the "perfect" toy for the boys for the holidays (because goodness knows, the last thing they need is MORE toys!) and reading status updates on people who I haven't worked with in a decade on Facebook. But what I realized as well is that I did miss communicating with my friends who are in my now. I missed visiting your blogs for inspiration and I missed just the online community of dear friends that I have. So I wonder and ask of all of you, how do you do it? How do you make that balance work of being fully present with your family and then having the time to be present with the world of friends online? As parents, we all have so many challenges when it comes to time management and I wonder how others do it (and still have time to craft on top of it all!).

I am rambling, and thank you for indulging me on my blogiversary.

I've been wanting to talk about lunch for a long time now (since it seemed like a fitting conclusion for food week) and FINALLY get to do my giveaway!

In trying to reduce waste and the use of plastics, this year the very wonderful and generous director of the boys preschool gifted every child with these oval stainless steel tiffin containers! One of the many reasons why we love the school is that the director and teachers help make the children become better stewards of our planet. I had previously been using a plastic lunchbox system which worked well, but I hadn't been entirely happy with using plastic and actually had been keeping an eye out for an alternate lunch solution.

Kay Glanchai, the founder of Luncharound is a parent (and in full disclosure, a very cool crafty mama who is in my Inspiration Circle!) who has researched very thoroughly and endlessly to find a lunchbox solution that was very earth friendly as well as easily usable to young children. I have to admit that I am a bit of a geek when it comes to the presentation of the lunches for the boys. As well as being nutritious, I want the lunches to be aesthetically pleasing as well (as Kay calls it "the feng shui of food") and she has given me numerous tips on how to prepare the food using halved avocado peels as little bowls, leftover baguette bags to wrap items in... she is an amazing resource for how to make fun lunches!

I wanted to share the wealth and fun and giveaway a set of the two-tier, stainless steel tiffin lunchboxes so generously donated by Kay and Luncharound (Thank you, Kay)! All you need to do is leave a comment (help a mama out and tell me what you like to make for lunch or snacks!) and I will randomly draw a number/name on Monday afternoon 10/26, 5PM PST.... and of course I would love it if my friends overseas enterred!

As befitting my procrastinational (is that a word?) nature, I will also sew 2 cloth napkins to send with the lunchboxes, but the winner has to swear not to tell others about my inability to sew straight lines :D... I had all these plans to sew them and post pictures, but well, you know...

Thank you so much for reading my long novel of a post, for your patience and understanding during my absence and most of all for your friendship this year.
I love you all!

(now PLEASE go leave a comment!)

xoxo, Marina

Saturday, 6:14AM

2009-10-17T07:48:00.001-07:00

Luca is a very early bird
Mama is not
Coffee is in order

Early morning walk for scones and happy face latte...

Happy Weekend :)

Silence

2009-10-14T11:52:00.000-07:00

Quiet now,we pause to rest,

Silence is our tranquil nest.

Our movement stilled,our voices cease,

We bathe our souls in quiet peace

-Verses for Quiet, Seven Times the Sun

Our main computer went down last week, so please accept my apologies for sporadic posting and emails. Hopefully we'll get things up and running in a few days, but in the meantime, wishing everyone a blessed and happy time...

As always with love,

Marina

Mom's Night Off... Cheeseboard Pizza

2009-10-08T15:33:00.000-07:00

After the debacle that was last night's dinner and the fact that I am cooking far more than I usually do), I decided to take tonight off and pick up a pizza from one of my favorite food places on the planet- The Cheeseboard.

The Cheeseboard is a true Berkeley Landmark. I love that the worker-owners there make you feel like family. When Ivan works from home, our morning ritual involves a walk up the block to pick up some lattes (which I consider the best in North Berkeley!) a corn cherry scone for Ivan, an asiago cheese roll for me and the boys split an incredibly decadent Chocolate Thing, an enormous roll of warm bread with chunks of melted chocolate baked in, and yes...it is actually called a Chocolate Thing :).

Cheese Rolls

... and while our family knows it as our place for morning coffee and freshly baked treats, it probably best known as a cheese lovers paradise, with offerings of hundreds of different types of cheese. I recently became smitten with Il Boschetto al Tartufo, a mild semisoft cheese blend of sheep and cow's milk, loaded with white truffle bits...mmmm

Il Boschetto al Tartufo and grapes, my special treat

Cheeseboard pizzas are truly special. They use gourmet cheeses, olive oil rather than tomato sauce and seasonal vegetables. They serve only one kind a day and it varies. Tonight's pizza is fresh corn and chile pasilla, onions, feta and mozzarella cheeses, garlic olive oil, cilantro and Mexican key lime :)

Thanks so much for your gadget suggestions! I'm leaning towards an immersion blender, especially after last night's soup. I'm taking your suggestions and going to cook it again and blend it. You have all been so lovely in joining me in my cooking journey, wish I could have you all over for warm soup, crusty bread and some good wine!

Please come visit tomorrow as I am finally going to do my first giveaway!
(and I promise it's something really fun!)

Autumn Gifts

2009-10-07T19:11:00.000-07:00

It's Fall Nature Table time and the boys and I finally got around to assembling it this afternoon. I participated in the Autumn Seasons Round Exchange recently and received these incredibly creative, wonderful items from my swap partner Grace to put on the table!

A Fox and the Moon applique in an embroidery hoop (an idea which I am stealing!)

Robin and real Georgia Buckeyes

Thank you so much Grace!

With the weather not feeling like Autumn for so long and the leaves refusing to turn until recently, it was hard to get the mojo going to put the table together. But as the days cooled and the leaves began to fall, the boys have begun to bring more of their natural treasures into the house. Here are a few of my favorite things on the table...

This season the Jizo Bodhisatva sits at the center

We have our witch and kitty mixing up spells before her cauldron

A little squirrel gathering up buckeyes (for our lack of acorns ;) ) for the winter

I'm so glad we finally got around to putting together our altar of Autumn Celebration. It makes me feel like the season is really upon us now and we can enjoy the gifts of Fall.

And lest you think I'm shirking on Food Week ;}...

In addition to the tomatoes, my dad also brought us squash from his garden. Though I miss the bounty of fruits that come in the summer, Fall always gifts us with those vegetables that just seems so right for the colder weather.

Feeling the need for the warm comfort that soup brings, I decided to do the Winter Squash with Fried Sage Leaves recipe from Deborah Madison's Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone (probably my favorite cookbook, even though I'm not a vegetarian).

So this is what I am going to tell you about tonight's endeavor... my soup sucked.

Did you really think I'd get through this week without some culinary mishap? I took a picture of the soup and was so excited to sit down and eat it and when I did, all I could taste were crunchy onions. I didn't saute them long enough. Which really sucks because I really don't like the texture or taste of raw onions.

So here is a pretty picture of my darn soup which I found almost inedible. And you want to know what else sucks? I have a TON of this soup left...

Here is the question of the day. Can this soup be saved? Will time just soften up the onions so that they're not so darn crunchy and obvious? Will cooking it longer soften them up? Or is this a lost cause I should just think about using it tomorrow for some crazy paper mache arts and crafts project with the boys?

The Last Bites of Summer

2009-10-06T18:57:00.001-07:00

My parents came to visit last weekend bearing the last of my dad's tomatoes for this season, which made me a bit melancholy.

...but they also brought free babysitting which allowed Ivan and I to actually go to a movie, which lifted my spirits immensely :)

We went to go see Julie and Julia, a story of 2 women living in different times, struggling to find out who they are and finding themselves saved through cooking. I loved the movie and it was part of my inspiration for Food Week... the fact that the modern day Julie is a blogger, well that was just ganache icing on the cake :). One scene that really stuck out for me and made my mouth water is when the Julie character made bruschetta for her husband and he could barely speak as he stuffed his mouth with it while oohing and ahhhing ecstatically over the taste.

Voila! I found the perfect way to say goodbye to the summer tomatoes!

Bruschetta is wonderfully simple and easy to make, but what really made me salivate was instead of toasting the bread in the oven, Julie pan-fried it in a pan of butter... and I just love butter so very much. So I found a recipe for Portobello Mushroom Bruschetta on the Food Network and fried the rustic baguette slices in minced garlic and butter instead of toasting it in the oven.

It was really, truly wonderful, the fresh happy taste of tomatoes and the crisp buttery bread...mmmmm... I felt I did justice to the last of the tomatoes....
Goodbye Summer!

The past 2 days of Food Week have been great for me as I've been finding new confidence in the kitchen. Recently Ivan and I came across an old Williams Sonoma gift card from our wedding (over 4 years ago!) which surprisingly had a little over $50 left on it! This is where you, my foodie friends can help me out in deciding how to spend it. Is there a small appliance in your kitchen you'd be lost without (I'm happy to add on a bit to the gift card for something truly useful and worthwhile)? A number of small gadgets that you find invaluable? As I grow more confident cooking, I think a little trip to buy kitchen gear will keep the motivation going! (As an aside, we do already have a Cuisinart food processor and Kitchen Aid Artisan Mixer- both of which I am building up the confidence to learn how to use.)

Thanks in advance for your suggestions!

Rooted in Filipino Food

2009-10-05T19:40:00.000-07:00

The blessing we say before our evening meal

Growing up Filipino, food was always the center of everything. I remember family gatherings with tables groaning under the weight of sinigang (pork or fish in tamarind stew), pancit (stir fried noodles with vegetables) and lumpia (fried egg rolls) while my mother and her sisters were in the kitchen preparing even more. If it was a special occasion, lechon (an enormous roasted pig with an apple in it's mouth) would be served. Filipino food is my comfort food. It reminds me of the way my house smelled growing up. It reminds me of when my children were born and my parents would come to stay with us to help out and prepare our meals. It reminds me of family.

The rice cooker, a staple in every Filipino kitchen

I'm a bit ashamed to admit that I don't know how to cook traditional Filipino dishes. Truth be told, I'm not a very experienced cook at all. I didn't really start cooking regularly until I had children and even now, my repertoire is mostly comprised of dishes where the prep time doesn't exceed 20 minutes. So I am starting this edible journey called Food Week in the hopes that I can push myself out of my comfort zone and try some new things.

Today I decided to try the staple of Filipino Cuisine- Chicken Adobo, stew cooked with vinegar and soy sauce. I had a small problem in that my mother does not have any of her recipes written down. My source for the chicken adobo recipe? Ironically, Ivan's Family Cookbook... may I emphasize Ivan's FRENCH Family Cookbook? Ivan's lovely Aunt Jennifer married a wonderful Filipino man and she adapted the traditional chicken adobo recipe to be a bit lighter than what I had growing up (which is probably a good thing). It's a very simple recipe with ingredients that we already had at home. It took about half an hour total to prepare, but was very easy to do. I made a few adjustments to the recipe (sauteing the onions before mixing everything, crushing the garlic to emphasize the flavor), and I have to say, I was pretty proud of my first attempt at Filipino cooking. I think I may even ask my mom for a cooking lesson :}.

So tell me dear friends, what foods remind you of your childhood? Do you cook them now as an adult?

Chicken Adobo a la francaise, served with steamed asparagus

************ Aunt Jennifer's Chicken Adobo*************
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
3 cloves crushed garlic
1 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup vinegar
3 TB. soy sauce
4 chicken breasts (used skinless and boneless)
1 tsp. paprika
1 tsp. oil
2 bay leaves

Saute onions in butter until transparent. After mixing the rest of the ingredients into saucepan, add chicken.
Cook on medium flame until all liquid is gone and chicken is cooked

For The Love of Food

2009-10-04T17:24:00.000-07:00

The neighborhood in which I live in is often called Gourmet Ghetto. It is home to Alice Water's restaurant Chez Panisse which is considered the birthplace of California Cuisine (which emphasizes the use of the freshest ingredients which are in season and procured solely from local farms). This is truly a foodies paradise with a cheese shop that boasts hundreds of different cheeses, the very first Peet's coffee shop and a weekly Farmers market to name just a few things. The neighborhood celebrates every Autumn with the Spice of Life Festival, a fun food-filled street fair with craft booths and plenty of food from neighborhood restaurants to savor. We spent today out and about, mingling with neighbors while feasting on the local flavor.

Fig Danish from The Cheeseboard

Matteo partook in some Dragon facepainting

Apologies to my vegetarian and vegan friends... menu from one of the food booths
Having done most of my street faires when I lived in the Midwest, this was quite a change for me after feasting on deep dish pizza from Taste of Chicago or brats from Milwaukee's Summerfest :)

There was an area for kids to make art using materials from nature,
this was Nico's sweet creation

Though there were carnival rides, Nico's favorite thing was quality upside down time with Daddy

The perfect T-Shirt from Like Minded People

Feeling festive from the fair today, I am declaring this my Food Week on A Small Tribe. I may attempt a few new dishes, share some favorite foods from local restaurants and ... stay tuned for an incredibly fun giveaway...

My first! I am soooo excited!

Bon Appetit!

Inspiration Circle

2009-10-02T16:33:00.000-07:00

I started knitting again!

I received this email earlier this week sent by one of the mothers from the boys preschool ...

Hi all you crafty and would be craftster mamas,
Who is up for a casual morning craft together at my house? I am talking this week, Friday morning after drop off. Anyone want to knit/spin/embroider or make stuff with me for a couple of hours before we pick our kids up? There will be tea and coffee and some kind of croissanty thing. I also promise breakfast crumbs on the floor, general clutter and probably an abundance of cat hair. I'm totally going to ignore it all and I hope everyone else will too, isn't this the essence of crafting? Not cleaning your house so you can make out with your yarn/fabric stash. You know what I'm talking about.

Now really, who wouldn't jump at the chance for a gathering like this??!! So this morning, The Bean and I headed over to the Amazing Andrea's home for some communion with other crafty mamas. I don't think there are enough words to express how inspired and energized I was to spend time with other mothers who nurture their souls through crafting. I wanted to share some photos of the morning and of the lovely home Andrea has created...

Andrea drop spindles

The promised croissanty things and tea

Emanuela shows her socks in progress

The spinning wheel I covet... never mind that I don't know how to spin

Namja and her grandmother's beautiful craft bag

Courtney cuts her son's Halloween costume

Yay! Deanna learns to knit!

Sandra shows off the gorgeous felted lotus she made for our hostess

Kay breathes new life into her daughter's T-shirt

Andrea's home was such a warm, inviting space to create in and she graciously allowed me to take a few pictures to share...

Nature table

mantle

I was tickled that her boys turned the Ostheimer farmhouse into a firehouse (Daddy is a firefighter)

It was truly a magical morning with old and new friends. Too often I spend too much time in my own head, crafting by myself at midnight. It was incredibly enriching to spend time with others working with our hands, learning new skills and getting encouragement . My wish is for all crafty mamas to have their own circle of inspiration too!

Thank you Andrea and friends for such a wonderful morning!

Autumn's Arrival

2009-09-30T09:41:00.001-07:00

With temperatures hovering close to 80 degrees, the official arrival of Autumn came without much fanfare. But this week a subtle shift occurred outdoors and within...

Our lushly green trees made room for some burnt red leaves to appear

On cool brisk mornings the boys ride their bikes to school

The apples in our generous neighbors tree have ripened, providing a sweet stop for the rides home after school

..and we're adding Nature's Autumn gifts to our season bowl...

Wishing all a lovely change of season

WIP Wednesday- Royal Gifts

2009-09-23T11:12:00.000-07:00

My crafting time the past few weeks has been used doing one of my favorite things- making gifts for children. Admittedly, it's usually around 2AM the night before the child's birthday party... but who's complaining? I'm happy to take the quiet time that I can to meditate with my hands and create something special for the child in mind.

It occurred to me that I never posted photos of Matteo's birthday crown (the only craft that got completed during that crazy time), but here it is...
...and bless his heart, he loved it more than the gorgeous felted crown that I had bought for him on Etsy :).

Matteo had a special friend at school last year, a wonderful little girl who I will call "M". Her Baba had mentioned to me that M had commented on Matteo's "dreamy brown eyes" during dance class and I had already been in LOVE with M's sweet nature that we decided on the spot to pre-arrange their marriage (JUST KIDDING!... kind of). ANYWAY, it was M's birthday recently and she had mentioned to me that purple and red were her favorite colors... so I had to make a crown befitting such a lovely potential daughter-in-law (ok, I'll stop)

...Can I just share this photo of the two of them? At party last summer, her Baba and I were trying to get a photo of them together and when asked to smile, we were met with the following responses:

"I'm eating"
"I want to play"

This picture just makes me giggle

A few months ago, I made a really truly wonderful friend, Nicola. We had initially met on our local parents network when she so kindly took a play structure off of my hands. I fell in love with her daughter, Lala who is 5 and hoped that we could get together again. Life being as it is, we didn't cross paths until months later when I realized that a parent/friend from Matteo's preschool is good friends with Nicola and thus a friendship was born. Nicola writes a wonderful blog about natural living, motherhood and frugality and it's been truly a treat to have a blogging friend who is also a friend that I see regularly (we always seem to be at the same yard sales :D). She is also my hero as she actually gets PAID for her writing, as she does a column for the Examiner on Frugality.

We were honored to be invited to Lala and her brother, Finn's birthday party last weekend and I was so excited to have the chance to make the Princess and Pea set that I had seen in so many wonderful blogs!

I used a "previously loved" Plan Toys Farmhouse girl and gave her a makeover by unbraiding her hair and making a new outfit for her with felt and some trim

Used the rest of my Good Folks stash and felted a pea...

I am slowly, but surely, getting back into the swing of things... starting to think about holiday gifts, a few more swaps to catch up on, and my adorable boys- Nico and Luca's- birthdays coming up in November...

So glad to be back WIP' ing (sounds naughty doesn't it ;}?)!

Thanks so much for joining me!

The Boys at Summer's End

2009-09-17T18:26:00.000-07:00

Little boys dance through the sprinklers

Howl with delight

While the littlest one smiles and crawls into the fray

Hope You're Enjoying The Last Days of Summer!

The Castle Builder

2009-09-09T17:16:00.000-07:00

A gentle boy, with soft and silken locks
A dreamy boy, with brown and tender eyes,
A castle-builder, with his wooden blocks,
And towers that touch imaginary skies.

A fearless rider on his father's knee,
An eager listener unto stories told
At the Round Table of the nursery,
Of heroes and adventures manifold.

There will be other towers for thee to build;
There will be other steeds for thee to ride;
There will be other legends, and all filled
With greater marvels and more glorified.

Build on, and make thy castles high and fair,
Rising and reaching upward to the skies;
Listen to voices in the upper air,
Nor lose thy simple faith in mysteries.

-The Castle Builder by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Mother's Milk

2009-09-06T21:34:00.000-07:00

Photo courtesy of Mel Orr of Haddy2Dogs

I've always taken breastfeeding for granted. I live in a part of the country where it's actually harder (in a social sense) NOT to breastfeed. I've heard many stories from mothers, who for medical reasons could not breastfeed, who had been approached by the Nursing Nazis in public, who just had to let them know- quite smugly- that "Breast is Best" (um, thanks, I think they already knew that).

Breastfeeding for me has always been matter of fact. It's simply what one does. I'd never been very sentimental about it or felt the spiritual experience many have had. I fed Matteo and Nico until the time was right for them to move on. No tears on either side. End of story. This all changed this past week when what I took for granted was no longer available.

I didn't write about this before because quite frankly I was tired of my own drama and didn't want to submit you lovely people to more of it. But after I had posted about the miscarriage last week, through follow up blood work and an ultrasound, I found out that I wasn't miscarrying, but rather had an ectopic pregnancy. Joy, right? So I had to take a trip to the emergency room for a lovely dose of methatrexate to terminate the pregnancy. I could deal with that for I had long given up hope for a viable pregnancy, but what I wasn't prepared for was the inability to nurse my precious Luca Bean for 4 days following as the drug worked through my system.

Up until then, my happy-go-lucky Bean was The.Easiest.Baby.Ever. Now my Littlest Love was absolutely beside himself, pulling at my shirt, banging his head against my chest in rage. He never had to take a bottle before,he didn't know what this fake milk/formula was... my poor little guy was just going mental not knowing why he wasn't getting his booby. For me, I was incredibly stressed trying to make sure the Bean would eat something. I spent a small fortune on organic blueberries and peaches knowing those were foods he loved. I wasn't sad, I was just plain angry (though I still don't know at whom) while I pumped and dumped at least 4 times a day trying to keep my supply intact, while attempting to explain to my 4 and almost 3 year olds that playing with the pump controls while Mommy was pumping wasn't really conducive to Mommy "letting down".

Last night I finally was able to nurse my precious, precious little Luca. He woke in the middle of the night and I was able to do what I had been doing thousands of times before, simply lift my shirt and offer my breast to him. My hands were free of a bottle and I could stroke his little warm head while the light of the almost full moon was on his peaceful, lovely face. I finally understood the spiritual connection one has while breastfeeding a baby. I discovered a bliss and happiness that was always there, but had taken for granted far too easily.

Never again.

First Day of School

2009-09-02T22:40:00.000-07:00

Two little boys starting school together for the first time

Two lunches

Two backpacks

One loves to draw

while the other ponders cars

Two little boys yelling goodbye through the window :)

It all flies by so quickly...

Tea and Tart

2009-09-01T14:35:00.000-07:00

So the ride is over, my friends. I miscarried on Sunday afternoon. I'm doing OK, sad that my dream of having another precious child is put away for now, but relieved to no longer be living in limbo.

I'm trying to figure out why the universe pitched us this curveball. I'm asking myself what lesson can I take away from this (because there's a reason for everything, right?). Ivan and I now realize how much room there is in our hearts, homes and lives for another baby and that maybe we'll be blessed with one later. But I think more importantly for me, I'm learning to understand and accept shortcomings from others. What was the hardest thing to deal with was the silence and lack of support from where I thought it would or should be- leaving someone a message in tears and not getting a call back, being quoted Doris Day ("Que Sera, Sera")... it left me feeling alone and empty. The epiphany I had today was that I vowed that I was going to raise my boys to be different. To be the kind of people who openly and generously show their love and support for those they care for. Even if it's just to say "I don't know what to say, but I care and am here for you". My lofty ambition is not to have my boys become captains of industry, but rather simply to be caring individuals with emotional intelligence. I know it starts with me and so I'm working on letting go of the anger and focusing on my beautiful, magical boys.

I wanted to thank you, my wonderful community of friends near and far for being with me during this time. You are what helped me get through the tougher moments. Up until recently, it was always easier to just post pictures of pretty toys and write about the lovelier things... I now know that at times it's OK to be honest and share what's in my heart. I'm serving up some tea and apple tart for whenever you want to drop by, curl up your feet and visit.

You are dear and special friends.

Love and Gratitude,
Marina

Happy Birthday, My Matteo Fantastico!

2009-08-27T21:22:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th Birthday, my dearest Matteo Fantastico!

Your sweet and gentle nature inspires me to be the best mom I can be...
you deserve nothing less

Your beautiful spirit touches us all.

Thank you for choosing us to be your family, for we are blessed

I love you,

Mama

Waiting

2009-08-26T14:38:00.000-07:00

My sister in law summed up these past few weeks pretty perfectly for us:

"nothing like a roller coaster ride you didn't know you were in line for"

umm, exactly

My hCG levels went up and though they didn't double, it still gives us some hope for this pregnancy. We had been expecting the worst and now, well... we just are trying not to expect anything. I'm finding it a hard line to walk... I want to talk to the little baby inside of me, give it encouragement and love, let it know that we'd be so excited to have it join us, but I'm also afraid to get too close, to become too attached to a dream that could be short lived.

I have an ultrasound later this week as the next step. Tomorrow is Matteo's birthday and then we have to get ready for his big party on Sunday, so there are a lot of really joyful things to keep us occupied.

So for now, we're just waiting...

I really wanted to thank everyone again for all of the love and support. The comments and emails I've received have given me so much comfort. I feel so incredibly blessed to have such a wonderful community of friends. Thanks so much for holding my hand during this ride.

Sensing my sadness the past week, Matteo put together this bowl of flower petals and leaves for me. He offered it to me last night and simply said "this is to heal your heart". I told him that at that moment, my heart was feeling pretty full.

All my love and gratitude,
Marina