Monday, November 1, 2010

Growing

Growing

I've been absent from this space this month. There hasn't been much time for sewing, crafting, photography and um, *ahem* blogging- all the things that feed my soul. I knew that life would change when Matteo started Kindergarten, but I didn't realize to what a great extent it would. These past few months I've been immersing myself in this new world that not just Matteo, but our entire family, had entered. A new school, a new community... it has been hard. It's no small irony that while Matteo waved good-bye to me happily as I dropped him off in his Kindergarten classroom, it was ME who burst into tears at the parent coffee and bagel reception afterward (I owe special thanks to the sweet PTA volunteer who I think was specifically designated at the front door to give hugs to new Kindergarten parents like myself). These past few months have been quite a journey for me as I've moved past my comfort zone to get involved in the big, exciting school that will be the place where my boys will spend most of their days in the years to come.

school craft
Helping the kids with the Dia de Los Muertos (Day of The Dead) craft

I've started volunteering in Matteo's classroom and it's made a world of difference in making me feel at peace in our decision to send our children to public school. The first afternoon I walked in to help out, the lights were dimmed, sitar music was playing and Matteo's teacher had a room full of 5 year-old children in yoga warrior poses repeating the affirmation "I am strong, I am smart, I am at peace" :). I've gotten to know all of Matteo's classmates and many their parents and it's been exciting to meet people from so many different cultures and backgrounds. I feel like our world is expanding ever so much.

pumpkin
In the school garden on Pumpkin Patch Day

But most importantly, Matteo LOVES school. He's excited about what he's learning, he loves playing with letters and learning how to create words, he loves seeing numbers and knowing what they represent. My boy is growing and I am so proud.

His a-b-c 's

I realized that I am growing as well. It was really hard for me to let go of my ideal of sending the boys to a Waldorf school. I realized that I can love many of the principles of Waldorf education and do them at home but still be happy with my son at a public school. I've been spending a lot of time at his school, in the classroom, participating in fundraisers, going to school events and I've realized that this big new school doesn't need to be scary. After seeing Matteo embrace his new surroundings with such joy and excitement, I knew I wanted to support and be a part of this amazing environment.

So, many of my own personal pursuits have been put on the back burner as we've been settling into this new time in our lives. I had been beating myself up over not being able to craft or run or do anything remotely creative, but I realize that the time I've been putting into Matteo's school has been about putting time into my own growth as a mother and person. I've been missing this space and the creative part of me that it represents. I'm so very happy that I feel as if I'm in a place that I can finally exhale all the anxieties I've had these past months and return to those things and this wonderful community that give me joy.

IMG_8873
dyeing playsilks for Autumn

With so much gratitude for your companionship on this journey of parenthood...

all my love,
Marina

8 comments:

Christine said...

Dear Marina, I am so happy to read of all your new adventures and being involved in Matteo's new school is VERY CREATIVE!!!! Just a different creativity, not so tangible at times, but still sooooooooo valuable! Please, do not forget that! I enjoy so much witnessing your journeys, thank you for sharing them.
Love, Christine

TulsiLeaf said...

I could write this post myself. Only I wish my daughters kindy class sounded as nice as yours. Everything is mandated by the state and gives the teachers no room for wiggle.

I am volunteering in her class to, so it gives me some peace.

Bending Birches said...

beautiful post......and fantastic photos.

lyneya said...

I've spent the last few months making peace with the inevitable: public school. I just can't make the Waldorf school happen financially. We just had his early childhood screening last week through the county and I realized how EXCITED Walker is to go to kindergarten! He's still got a couple of years, but he's READY. I'm going to embrace his excitement and help him have the most positive experience possible.

But ours isn't as big of a transition as yours...he's been in daycare, then preschool since 9 weeks old. (Another reality I made peace with and learned to see in a positive light through his eyes.)

Andrea said...

Oh Marina, I know how you feel. Or I imagine I know since I feel like these words could be my own. We are in second grade now and are still growing roots into our school community. I feel like I am on both the inside and outside of it but it is healthy to be around people who aren't exactly like you-its what public school is about! We need to get together for some creative mom time, I totally haven't forgotten, just trying to make it happen in the schedule still.

Lisa said...

I have been thinking of you and wondering how things are going. That is a great school. I know a lot of kids who go there and love it! It's no surprise Matteo does too! It's wonderful to hear you are letting go. It is so hard, but so important. I say this only as someone who can have a hard time doing it herself! There is nothing like watching your child grow!!
hugs
Lisa

Amy Souza said...

what a great post for me to read.
i long for waldorf school for my 2. but finanically it seems impossible.
i really am somewhat afraid of public school......i felt encouraged reading this post.
thanks for sharing.

Nicola (Which Name?) said...

You put it so well, Marina. I will settle for "ditto."
And I am so glad it is going well for him. Loved getting time with you last week!
Nicola